If you think you have already killed the monster, never come closer to make sure of it.
If you found that your house was built on or near the former cemetery, that it was once a church where black masses served, that the former tenants lost their minds, committed suicide, died a horrible death (no matter what), necrophilia or satanism in your house, move immediately.
Never read aloud spells calling.
- Prokop from 10-06-2013, 14:45
Black instruction for the dead!)
If you die, do the following:
1. Lie down without giving signs of life. It would not be bad to die in a decent pose, but that’s as lucky.
2. Do not take to heart the sorrow of relatives. It is possible that their grief is the usual inadequate reaction to their joy.
3. Philosophically relate to the fact that you are dropped from a stretcher drunk.
- Prokop from 3-04-2013, 14:19
Instruction "What not to do with the pager!)
In order to avoid warranty, post-warranty or out-of-warranty repair, as well as the irretrievable loss of a pager, we strongly recommend:
do not test the pager for buoyancy – battleship "Potemkin" none of it
Do not test the pager for strength by throwing it from the 5th (9th, 12th, 24th, 100th.) floor from a helicopter (airplane, balloon, airship, balloon) – it will deteriorate after that sensitivity
do not use the pager as a weapon – you hardly need extra enemies
otkovyrivat buttons – nothing interesting under them.
- Prokop on 03-25-2013, 13:59
Funny instruction for cockroaches!)
What every cockroach should know about weapons of mass destruction:
Remember how all progressive cockroaches rejoiced when a man entered our lives? It seemed that he would solve all everyday problems forever – there would be heat everywhere, there would be dirt, cheap food. But, as it turned out, a person can be not only a friend, but also a deadly enemy when he comes out from under the cockroach control. And then illnesses, destructions, death come to our house. Suffice it to recall at least how much trouble brought sneakers "Kid" and "Fat man"thrown down.
- Prokop on 03/14/2013, 10:38
Money can not buy happiness!)
Funny sayings about money
If your happiness is not in money, then send it to me. *** Keep money in the bank, and bury the bank deeper. *** You will not earn all the money. Some will have to be stolen. *** If a competitor cannot be bought, it should be.
- Boliuvl from 01-02-2013, 00:01
Cool instructions to the end of the world! We read to the end!)
Ideal to preserve before, during and after the end of the world will help you sealed lead hopper. The walls must be five meters thick (so that the radiation does not penetrate inside). Since after the end of the world the atmosphere of the Earth may disappear, it is necessary to take more oxygen scuba tanks with you into the bunker. Water after the end of the world, too, may not be, therefore, in order not to look like an idiot, sitting in an aqualung on a lead floor, the bunker should be filled to the ceiling with drinking water. After the end of the world, except you clever (-s), no one can survive, so in the bunker you must leave room for the opposite sex with a purpose.
- Prokop from 10-12-2012, 22:30
Funny instruction "How to get parents!"
- Prokop from 10/21/2012, 7:30 pm
How to scratch eggs! Cool instruction!)
- Prokop from 12-10-2012, 18:11
Instructions for a happy life!
1. Do not spare money for pleasure. 2. Like – say. 3. Live today because "yesterday" not anymore "tomorrow" maybe not. 4. It is not clear – ask. 5. Want to meet – Invite. 6. Want something – Ask. 7. Never argue. 8. Want to be understood – Explain. 9. If you are guilty – immediately tell about it and do not look for an excuse. 10. Always remember that everyone has their own truth and it often does not coincide with yours. 11. Do not communicate with fools. 12. The main thing in life is love, everything else.
- Prokop from 10-10-2012, 06:01
Instructions about women. Allowance for men!)
Symptoms: Refuses to wash, go shopping, cook. Problem solving: Check, is it a man? If you don’t, think about whether you need such a life partner?
Symptoms: Food requires regularly. Solution of the problem: Replace the woman.
Symptoms: Does everything, but there is no articulate speech. Occasionally there are buzzes and sighs. Solution of the problem: Congratulations! You got a promising development – the woman of the future!
Symptoms: Infinitely speaks, speaks and speaks on the phone. Problem solving: Report that wrinkles appear from long conversations around the mouth. In addition, the radiation of the telephone line adversely affects the complexion.
Symptoms: Constantly arranges scenes of jealousy. – Solving the problem (option 1): Try to relieve tension with a joke: "Honey, you will laugh a lot, but for some reason I do.
- Prokop from 12-08-2012, 15:47
Instructions: how to divorce my wife!)
1. Suppose you have a spouse, contact her in the past tense, for example, tell her every morning "When you were still my wife, not like now".
2. Suppose she does not listen to your words, pretend to be a great lover of cleanliness and at three o’clock in the morning start vacuuming the bed and wipe the dust from your wife with a wet rag.
3. Suppose she does not react to this, pay attention to her shortcomings and put yourself in the list in the first place. Repeat as if by chance: "I like everything about you, but with a husband like me, of course you can’t live".
4. Suppose she disagrees with you and says that you are good. Try to dissuade her from it. Returning from work in the evening, throw a brick in the window of your house, and when it is.
- Prokop from 07/19/2012, 16:30
How to reliably defend against the rapist!
1. Stunned the rapist. To do this, come to him nevertheless and, politely lauding, give your knee to the groin.
2. Do not give the rapist to dry, stick his finger in the eye, and an umbrella – in the groin.
3. Hold the shortlived rapist behind your ears and remove him with a Mysik tfli in the groin.
4. Not paying attention to the abuser’s moaning moans, grab him by the hair and put ydar elbow in.