Psychology of family relationships studies problematic issues and situations that arise in the field of realization of personal aspirations, goals in family relationships. Virtually every individual today is faced with the problems of preserving and maintaining warm family relationships. It often happens that the longer the partners live together, the sharper are the differences, conflicts, and emotional reactions to each other. The family is the most important social institution, influencing both the individual and the society as a whole. It is characterized by a rather difficult relationship between two different individuals.
Each family is a small social-psychological group or group, which is based on the personal and trusting relationship between two spouses, their parents and children. Its structure, social activity, moral and psychological climate is dependent not only on the conditions of a total nature, patterns and general circumstances, but also on the specific situations that form the family.
The psychology of family relations depends on the circumstances in which the formed unit of society lives and functions. Among them are the level of education of both spouses, their culture, values, morality, traditions, residence, morality, etc. The ability of the spouses to rally and consolidate depends on these conditions. They leave an indelible imprint on the nature of family relationships, determine the specifics of such relationships.
Problems in the family, the dynamics of relationships, the causes of divorce, loneliness in family relationships, family upbringing – these and other issues are studied by the psychology of the family and family relationships.
The average family usually consists of 3-4 people. Her core is spouses and their children. Often, newly-formed families live together with the parents of one of the partners. Each family member is characterized by being in continuous interaction with the rest of her members, plays a certain role in the family, worries about meeting some of the needs of the family as a whole or separately, and the interests of society. The personal qualities of the partners, the nature of their relationship, determine the specifics of the implementation of the functions inherent in the family and its appearance.
Communication interaction in the family ensures the focus and coherence of the partners’ efforts to achieve certain goals, vital for the family, to meet the individual human need for spiritual unity with the beloved. The spiritual relationship of the spouses are an integral part of the intimate.
The family, in a broad sense, is the socio-economic unit of society, which is characterized by the joint maintenance of household life and family budget, various types of services are consumed, the needs for food, residence, clothing, etc., are being met. Both spouses have this economic function . Deep mastery of selected professions guarantees partners a stable salary, and the family – material wealth.
Cultural leisure and education are the most important functions of the cell of society. Family leisure is to create a special atmosphere of warmth, allowing the individual to fully open up and realize themselves. The educational function is to take care of children and the older generation. It depends on family upbringing how a child will grow up and whether he can fully develop his personality and realize himself. Also, parents have a duty to protect the interests and rights of children, to take care of their spiritual, physical and mental development.
Psychology of family relations, as science notes, is that with the progressive development of civilization, there are a number of alarming trends that indicate the destructive circumstances in family life, affecting marital and child-parent relationships. Such negative trends are associated with socio-economic circumstances: instability of the social system, problems of employment, low living standards, changes in the traditionally established role structure of the family and the division of functions between partners.
The number of dysfunctional families, which are characterized by deviant behavior of one of the partners or both (alcoholism, drug addiction, aggressiveness), a disorder of communication interaction, unmet needs of partners in love, respect and recognition, has sharply increased. All this causes a sharp increase in emotional and personality disorders of individuals, tension, anxiety, depression, loss of affection, and impairment of personal growth.
Another equally alarming trend is a decrease in the birth rate and an increase in the number of families with one child, which leads to a violation of the communicative competence of children who grow up in such families. Increasing the number of divorces is also a serious problem of modern society.
Psychology of family relationships is designed to solve the above problems, to help spouses competently interact in family relationships, to show how healthy family relationships should develop after the birth of a child.
There is the following classification of behavior in marriage partners, proposed by Seiger:
– equal behavior is characterized by the expectation of equal duties and rights;
– romantic behavior is characterized by the expectation of spiritual harmony, strong love, sentimentality;
– parental behavior is characterized by the pleasure of taking care of another partner, raising him;
– children’s behavior is characterized by the introduction of spontaneity, joy and spontaneity into a marital relationship, however, along with this acquisition of power over another partner through the manifestation of helplessness and weakness;
– rational behavior is characterized by tracking the manifestation of emotions, feelings, while strictly observing the rights and obligations of each other, responsibility and sobriety in the assessment;
– comradely behavior is characterized by the desire to become a spouse ally and search for the same partner for yourself. Friendly type of spouse does not pretend to romantic feelings and perceives the inevitable routine of family relationships;
– independent behavior is characterized by maintaining a certain distance in marriage with respect to its partner.
There is also a classification of marriage profiles: a complementary, meta-complementary and symmetrical profile.
In a symmetric marriage, both partners have equal rights and duties, no one submits to the other. All problems in such a marriage are solved by agreement or compromise.
In the complementary marriage, one partner always dominates, and the second submits, waits for instructions.
In the metacomplimentary matrimony, a partner achieves a dominant position, which accomplishes his goals by emphasizing his own weaknesses, ineptitude or impotence, while manipulating with such behavior a partner.
Each family, regardless of the manner of building relationships, has certain crises of family relationships over the years.
Psychology of family relations is aimed at helping people overcome such crises without losing for themselves, teaches individuals how to diversify modern family relations in order to avoid divorce.
Family Law Relations
Family and legal relations are called property or non-property relationships arising from family law and governed by family law, in rare cases, civil law. In family law relations, all participants in the process are legally interrelated by the presence of common subject duties and rights. They arise due to the influence of family law on social relations.
Family law relations of a different nature may be regulated, in addition to the norms of family law, by other branches of law. Based on the content of family relations, they can be divided into personal and property.
Depending on the specifics of the content they are divided into matrimonial and parental. If we take the subject composition as a basis, then family legal relations are divided into complex and simple ones. Complex legal relations, which consist of three participants in the process, in turn, are divided into relations between parents and their adult children, parents and their minor children. Simple is the relationship that consists of two participants, and there are between two spouses and between former spouses.
Based on the division of rights and obligations, family law relations are differentiated into unilateral and bilateral.
According to how individualized family relationships are, they are relative and absolute. Relative – this is when absolutely all participants in the process are identified by name. Absolute – only one side of legal relations is individualized.
Based on the presence of public interest, family and legal relations are divided into regulated imperatively and relations characterized by public interest and the absence of such interest.
Relationships regulated imperatively observed in adoption. Relationships characterized by public interest, there are alimentary relations. In such a relationship, the exercise of rights and obligations, the protection initiative belongs to the participants in the process. Relations characterized by a lack of public interest are realized only on dispositive basis.
The main in family law are personal legal relations between all family members. It is they, for the most part, who determine the content of family-property relations. On this basis, it should be concluded that the content of family and legal relations includes the rights and obligations of absolutely all the subjects of such legal relations. The specification of rights and obligations, their scope are contained in family law norms that regulate family relationships, such as entering into a marriage union and its dissolution, personal and property relationships between partners, alimony relationships between all family members, between parents and children, between adoptive parents and adopted children. etc.
Subjects of family law relations are called participants with family rights and bearing responsibilities.
In order to differentiate family-legal relations from family relations, which are not regulated by the rules of law, on the one hand, and on the other, from other legal relations, it is necessary to distinguish their following specific features. First, absolutely all family-legal relations are of a continuing nature. The second is that personal non-proprietary family relationships are decisive and express a significant impact on property relations not by number, but by significance. Thirdly, family and legal relations stem from family relationships that are listed in the legislation, this is what the subject composition of the participants in the process means.
Family law relations are considered only legal relations between members of one family. Other legal relations are administrative-legal or procedural. Regarding the relationship between individuals who only intend to marry, but have not yet registered it, it is considered that there are no legal relations between them at all.
Marital and family relations
Marital and family relations are a rather complex structure of modern society. According to official statistics, more than half of recorded marriages are destroyed. However, it is difficult to name the specific problems of marriage relationships
There are several main types of marriage and family relationships. Depending on the type of relationship being established in the newly-formed family, one can judge the duration of the marriage, family relations and what the development of the formed social unit will be.
Psychology of family relations, based on family experience, marriage unions are divided into newlyweds, young family, a family in anticipation of a child, a middle-aged family, older and elderly married age.
Newlyweds are individuals who are euphoric after a wedding, they still do not know what kind of pitfalls they are waiting for on the path of living together and do not think that one day they will be faced with the question “how to improve family relations.”
A young family is characterized by the understanding that love alone is not enough to build a strong marriage, that care, trust and mutual understanding are important in relationships.
The family in anticipation of the firstborn is characterized by serious changes in relationships, the formation of a new way of life.
The family relationship of middle age (about 10 years together) is characterized by the occurrence of routine, all sorts of conflicts. This period is the need to revise the habitual way of life and add new joint interests to it in order to preserve the family and former relationships. Here the question “how to diversify family relations” becomes urgent.
The older family is characterized by the coming to the fore of common interests and the ability to negotiate.
The elderly family is characterized by the appearance of grandchildren, a second wind opens, a new interest appears – an interest in grandchildren.
Depending on the number of children, families are childless (about 16% of all families), having one child (50%), having few children (2 children) and having many children (more than 2 children).
Based on the quality of family relationships, marriages are stable, prosperous, conflict, problematic and socially disadvantaged. Also, families are complete and incomplete (one of the parents is absent for some reason).
Psychology of family relations highlights some factors that affect destructively on marriage and family relations. These include:
– conflicting relationships or the disintegration of the family of the parents of one of the partners or both;
– living together with parents on their living space;
– parental interference in the relationship of spouses;
– use either by both partners, or by one of them alcohol, drugs;
– numerous betrayals and lack of confidence;
– any addictions of negative nature of both spouses or one (for example, craving for gambling);
– forced separation of partners (for example, rotational work method or long business trips);
– excessive professional employment of the wife (such a family is called “bikerornoy”);
– early or late marriage;
– marriage “on a fly” (such a marriage is called “stimulated”);
– the birth of the first child in the first 1-2 years of marriage;
– high conflict of both partners;
– the inability to have children for any reason or the infertility of one of the partners;
– physical exhaustion or permanent overload due to study or work;
– excessive selfishness of one or both partners;
How to improve family relationships? This question has been worrying psychologists, sociologists and ordinary people getting married for decades. In order to preserve relationships, they should be discussed together, initially assigned responsibilities, everything “can” and “cannot” be defined, not involve other people in relations (no matter whether it is relatives or not). There is an opinion that as soon as family problems become the property of society, the family begins to crumble at an accelerated pace.
Psychology of family relations notes that any family relations have certain crises over the years that occur at certain intervals of time. The first crisis occurs in the first year of life of the newlyweds, the next in the third, then in the fifth, seventh, tenth, and then every 10 years.
Family relationships crises
Scientists have established the fact that people who marry by mutual agreement, and not out of love, are much easier to overcome the crises of family life.
The origin of the family or the crisis of the first year of marriage. Probably, every person, at least once during his life, wondered why all fairy tales end with the wedding of the main characters and in no one tells about their future life together. This is due to the fact that after a wedding celebration after a while the difficulties are just beginning. Two completely different creatures, one of which is a man and the other woman, begin to live under the same roof and lead a joint household. With all this, each of them have become accustomed to a particular way of life. And although this stage is always characterized by an enthusiastic attitude, it often ends in disappointment, since the expectations were not realized. However, if the partners consciously and deliberately decided to get married, there will be no particular difficulties in the first year of living together. In this period, you should learn to talk with a partner, listen to him and hear. This period is always characterized by lapping partners to each other. The rose-colored glasses gradually disappear, through the prism of which the spouse was seen, and it turns out that he is not at all perfect, but an ordinary person with his own weaknesses, weaknesses and virtues.
For some couples, the crisis does not occur in the first year of life, but already in the third. It all depends on the individual traits of the character of the spouses, on the behavior model of the parent families. In this period, you need to learn to respect your partner, and also to realize that all people have flaws, that the ideal simply does not exist. Although family problems in relationships exist inseparably from each other, there are still no insurmountable obstacles in the path of two loving hearts.
The crisis of five years is characterized by the appearance of the firstborn in the family. Both parents are insanely happy about this, but they are far from being so aware of everything related to caring for the baby. This period is characterized by chronic sleep deprivation. Along with this, a man suffers from a lack of attention and affection from his wife, and a woman suffers from a riot of hormones that cause a previously calm and sensible lady to transform into a shrew.
Family relationships after childbirth are among the most difficult, they have some alienation and cooling partners to each other. During this period, it is recommended to involve grandparents or qualified nannies in raising children. It is necessary to distribute duties so that a woman can rest. Care of the baby should lie on both parents, and not only on the woman.
The next crisis comes in the seventh year of living together partners. These two significant dates are considered one of the most difficult periods of family life. The child is already old enough to be sent to kindergarten. A woman, feeling herself driven by a horse, who saw nothing but the kitchen, is eager to go to work. And still what, just not to sit at home. However, domestic concerns remain so hang a heavy burden on her shoulders. She will have to combine with employment not only her life, taking care of her husband and child, but also her new job. At this stage, a compromise must be sought precisely the strong half.
Ten years of living together is characterized by a well-adjusted lifestyle, intimate and spiritual relationships, communication, work. At this stage, the woman who initiates the divorce is more likely to become a woman. Spouses are already fed up, and a little tired of each other. Most husbands complain that their wives stopped sharing their hobbies with him, began to ignore romantic impulses, which leads to the appearance of connections on the side. Young mistresses allow men to once again feel like young hunters conquerors. However, with all this, men do not even think about divorce. With the threat of exposing the vicious connection, it is easy to part with your mistress in order to make a new one through time. For men, it is quite difficult to destroy the settled life, comfortable lifestyle, family. They value their strength too much, which they spent on creating a family. In this period, you need to understand, be aware of the problems that have arisen and throw all your forces into the fight against monotony and monotony to save the family.
Psychology of family relations notes that the next crisis is related to the growing up of children. They are already quite adults, they have their own interests, they no longer need parental care. Instantly the empty house causes a feeling of being lost, useless, useless, empty, and many other similar emotions. In order to take control over them, one should soberly assess the situation that has arisen and do everything possible to extract the maximum satisfaction from it. First, you need to understand that life does not end with the departure of children from home. This, on the contrary, opens up new opportunities for personal realization. Also, this period is characterized by the feeling that in professional activity everything is achieved and there is no place to strive for.
How to diversify family relationships? At this stage, you need to try to find new life tasks and re-learn to live with each other. It is necessary to understand that the preservation of relations is everyday hard and hard work, which should have a joint focus. This means that the family will be preserved only if both spouses want it together and jointly direct their efforts towards achieving the goal.
Family relationships and problems at this stage are to rethink their attitude towards others and their partner. Psychologists provide several general patterns of behavior in the event of a crisis. First, it should never be, as they say, “snacking on a bit”. Compromise is the perfect way out of any problem situation. Secondly – under no circumstances should you insult your partner as a person. If you blame your spouse for something, then you should avoid formulations such as “you always …”. It is better to adhere to the phrase, such as “I hate it when you …”, “I am sad to spend evenings without you” and
Psychology of family relations emphasizes that a crisis in relationships, regardless of when it came, is another step forward, the possibility of going beyond the boundaries of previous relationships.
The crisis in relationships is helping partners realize not only the negative, but also the good, the valuable that they will be united and connected. But the disintegration of the family is a consequence of an incorrectly passed crisis. Never demand or insist on anything. Try to support a partner in everything. Do not sacrifice yourself for a spouse. And even more so you should not reproach your partner with what you have done for him, but he did not appreciate it. Remember, because you deliberately made sacrifices, no one asked you about it.
The most important thing for overcoming any crises of family life is never to hush up the problem situation. We need to learn to negotiate with each other the situation. The position of the ostrich will not work here. If you do not look for a way out of problematic situations – the problems will only get worse. Do not think that the crisis itself came and he will leave.
Sometimes it will not be superfluous to rest from each other. Many psychologists believe that even ardently loving people at least two weeks in a year should be spent separately from each other. If there is a desire to preserve relations, and it is impossible to overcome a heap of fallen problems on our own, then you can turn to professional psychological help.
On the other hand, if problems cannot be solved, maybe you need to look at the situation from the other side? Ask yourself: does this woman (man) really suit you? And give yourself an honest answer to it.