When the baby starts walking

Woman on the note. Write down whatever you need. After you look – and cross out everything, you can do without it.

When the baby starts walking

Every year I look at my own reflection in the mirror, retreating a step further. No, don’t take me a year.

Spring! Aggravation! The printer is working. I started with respect for myself.

A woman loves a man not so much a giver as he does not take away, a man a woman – on the contrary.

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Jokes on Tuesday March 26, 2019

  • March 26, 2019
  • 520

I decided to install a video camera in my room and see what my cat does while I am at work all day.

– What is the name of the most punctual Chinese?

– Why do women go to driving schools?

– Because they have no rights.

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Jokes on Monday March 25, 2019

  • March 25, 2019
  • 496

One love by heart, the other by the fig, the rest – can not afford!

Other friends like the landing gear disappear after take-off, they appear during descent.

"From here we will face a Swede.": Peter I spoke, opening Twitter.

This is how a child will play as a child, then a tail will tear off to a newt, then a fly to a fly. and then, bang, and a practical psychologist grew out of man.

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Jokes on Friday March 22, 2019

  • March 22, 2019
  • 737

Family life is similar to the duobus: you ride on the thumb, but periodically the horns instruct.

Always surprised people who from work go to dinner home. How do you keep up with your mind, go to work twice a day ?!

As our chef says: "The value of your workforce is that no brain drain is possible from it."

To accept man as he is, only the earth agrees. And the draft board.

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Jokes on Thursday March 21, 2019

  • March 21, 2019
  • 577

Family life is similar to the duobus: you ride on the thumb, but periodically the horns instruct.

Always surprised people who from work go to dinner home. How do you keep up with your mind, go to work twice a day ?!

When the baby starts walking

As our chef says: "The value of your workforce is that no brain drain is possible from it."

To accept man as he is, only the earth agrees. And the draft board.

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Jokes on Wednesday March 20, 2019

  • March 20, 2019
  • 616

It’s hard to become rich with friends: we are able to drink any amount of money.

From the point of view of an effective manager, a beggar in the transition works ten times better than any doctor of science.

Today I realized how old my jacket was when I saw on the lining a long and narrow pocket for the phone, with a cutout for the antenna.

A man does what a man needs. A woman is left to do only that which a man cannot.

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Jokes on Tuesday March 19, 2019

  • March 19, 2019
  • 730

Yesterday my hemorrhoids turned one year old — baked a cake for him, stuck a candle.

Student Oreshkin credit not

In Russia, life is divided before the message of the president and after the message of the president

If the head is empty – ass full.

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Jokes on Monday March 18, 2019

  • March 18, 2019
  • 683

Life hacking: against the background of binge flu runs unnoticed.

Dance school "Shevelizada" invites to the courses of oriental dance and twerk.

Choose a business to your liking, and you will never have a normal salary.

In the family, the wife is responsible for cleanliness, and the husband is responsible for the frequency.

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Jokes on Friday March 15, 2019

  • March 15, 2019
  • 980

I wonder how many years it will take for the Roman Catholic Church to head in the tolerant Europe of the Roman Catholic Church. A matter of time, in my opinion.

Interestingly, while in decaying Europe, too, citizens steal covers on sewer manholes?

When things are not glued to someone, they need to be sewn.

If you compare life with dinner, then retirement and old age are dessert for good behavior.

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Jokes on Thursday March 14, 2019

  • March 14, 2019
  • 740

Sold apartment with a tenant. I feel like a landowner.

"It’s Complicated" – This is when you sit and think whether you need to look for a man or you already have one.

Sometimes they take me for a city madman and I am very pleased, because I grew up in a village.

Old age – when I wake up, you are very bad, and you do not remember, you should hang over or drink medicine.

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Jokes on Wednesday March 13, 2019

  • March 13, 2019
  • 665

If you say “in this country”, then you live in Russia.

Why did my washing machine stop pumping out water? “Does anyone know where my hamster went?”

Why is the state "at death’s door", but no "in life"? After all, most people are in it and abide. Yes, and it lasts longer.

Sometimes a lot is solved at the last minute, for example, when you take a beer in a supermarket at 21:59.

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Jokes on Tuesday March 12, 2019

  • March 12, 2019
  • 694

My father had three sons, but he found out about this on the transfer of Andrei Malakhov.

Full to the brim glass introduces an optimist and a pessimist into a stupor.

Women like silent men: they think they listen to them.

Life hacking for the lazy. If you wash the dishes before a meal, and not after a meal, then you will wash the dishes less often once in a lifetime.

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Jokes on Monday March 11, 2019

  • March 11, 2019
  • 638

Friends of childhood are the only ones who made friends without drinking.

I want to open a business in the Caucasus to say that things have gone uphill.

The uprising of the machines has won: robots know you by sight, and you don’t.

If a girl says that she has a problem, then she just needs to give money. Is it really that hard to remember?

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Jokes on Friday March 8, 2019

  • March 8, 2019
  • 912

Did you know that in Japan it is customary to get each other with the question “Whose Shikotan?”?

I’m afraid of dumplings! Do not dare to float and stick together.

When the blood is mixed – a handsome man. Especially if the blood is mixed with alcohol.

She did not have enough sense even to understand how stupid she was.

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Jokes on Thursday March 7, 2019

  • March 7, 2019
  • 745

Without learning how to build the rockets themselves, Rogozin decided to build at least a building in the form of a rocket.

Cigarettes are like people: you love them, and they kill you.

Announcement. Buy a cat in a bag. Awl – as a gift.

More lies than the investigator, only a dietitian listens.

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Jokes on Wednesday March 6, 2019

  • March 6, 2019
  • 629

Previously, grandmothers were transferred across the road, and now they are switching to digital broadcasting.

All girls have butterflies in their stomachs demanding love, and only a mole in her stomach requires Tamara a fur coat.

The best flavor enhancers are aged in oak barrels for at least 5 years.

– Dear, today in honor of Defender of the Fatherland Day there will be a festive dish – potatoes in uniform!

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Jokes on Tuesday March 5, 2019

  • March 5, 2019
  • 655

All Russian fairy tales teach: in order for a princess to be happy, you need to marry a fool.

In order to avoid conflicts in the team, we simultaneously turn on the air conditioner and the heater in the office.

Life is like an elevator: now up, now down, now under repair.

Loving eyes do not look around.

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Jokes on Monday March 4, 2019

  • March 4, 2019
  • 617

Riddle: It is possible to know, but it is impossible to understand.

The task of a successful government is to be @ bat people so that they will be happy.

The woman is a cunning creature. At first she sent a man into space, looked at what would happen, and only then flew by herself.

On the line of communication with the president: – if you are happy with everything, press 1, if not, then the grid. )))

Yesterday’s collection of cool photos is [url =] HERE [/ url]

Jokes on Thursday March 1, 2019

  • March 1, 2019
  • 984

Money does not sleep – with just anyone.

Americans want to turn off the Russian Internet! That’s stupid, how will they choose the presidents?

Yes, yes, under a still stone champagne does not flow!

A call to the MES. "Help, my pipes are burning"!

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Jokes on Thursday February 28, 2019

  • February 28, 2019
  • 790

How is it symbolic to send a file with the name "Vacation plans".

In the dining car, such prices that the only thing I can afford is to flirt with the waitress.

Every day, after the broadcast, the leading Russian news pruned nose.

The team requires a python developer, a baby elephant tester and a monkey timlid.

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