I want a child but I’m afraid

Question to the psychologist

Asks: Marina

Question category: Children

Related Issues

Psychology answers

Sadykova Aigul Zhasulanovna

Hello Marina! Fears about pregnancy and child health are visited by almost all young women. BUT, those states and feelings that you describe go beyond the norm, your fear goes off scale. You can also say that they control your life. The true reasons for these fears are not clear from your message, there seems to be a strong desire to take birth, health, a loving husband, all the conditions, but. Often the causes of such fears lie in childhood, and can also be inherited from the mother, or you had some negative experience associated with pregnancy – have you seen, for example, in childhood or on TV a similar example that shook you, and

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Kuroyedova Lyudmila Micheslavna

Answers on the site: 4337 Conducts trainings: 5 Publications: 33

Hello Marina! There is an expression: "What are you afraid, and then attract!" On the one hand, it is important not to ignore your feelings in yourself, but to meet with them, recognize, accept, and work out, accompanied by a psychologist, and better with a Gestalt Therapist, so that unconscious patterns of behavior and attitudes become aware! On the other hand, ". And then there was a new problem. I just go crazy, tormented by the thought that I can not give birth to a healthy child." Where did you get it from? What is going on with you? Initially, they postponed to give birth, and now the opposite is happening, there is a loop on this ?! From one extreme to another! It is important for you to find that internal balance that will help you come to an internal agreement and calmness, which so far, alas, no! In writing – it is impossible "cure", and on face-to-face meetings with a psychologist – perhaps with your desire. I also want to draw your attention to this: You do not live in the present! Harass yourself and your spouse, what is unknown – how much strength will it have to endure all this ?! What if he gets bored and gets it ?! Why you can not live and enjoy what you have now. I understand that reading these lines is hard for you! I really sympathize with you, but if you still cannot get pregnant, then why not live in pleasure and get carried away with something interesting? You look, and eventually the baby will appear. "The force of action is equal to the force of opposition!" RELEASE THE SITUATION. Do not drive yourself! You really have time to figure it all out! Contact us! Good luck to you. Sincerely, Lyudmila K.

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Rudometova Olga Vladimirovna

Answers at site: 1298 Conducts trainings: 0 Publications: 16

Marina, hello! Children give birth, give birth to a cat, a dog. It is good that you are preparing for pregnancy so seriously, but apparently in a chur. So panic attacks were born, I highly recommend you, before you get pregnant, contact a psychologist. I will be glad to help you. Olga

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Idrisov Galikhan Abdeshevich

Answers on the site: 7494 Conducts trainings: 0 Publications: 14

You wrote that you went to church, took communion.

With believers, it is easier to help solve their problems.

It is easier, because faith strengthens in difficult moments, it helps – with faith in God.

So you want to say – if you believe, then you know that no one appears without His will.

Similarly, your (your) future children are the children of God.

And if He decides – they will. If He decides, they will be healthy.

I want a child but I'm afraid

Do not take on God. You have enough of the mundane.

If you speak from the standpoint of practical psychology – then your fears – may be the result of too much responsibility that you assume.

I want a child but I'm afraid

Helping with your fears is a real deal.

With faith and hope

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Galochkina Elena Borisovna

Your fear of having a sick child, on the one hand, has real reasons. Indeed, the process of organ insertion in a human embryo is a thing so complex and inaccessible to our control that anything can really happen in it. But, on the other hand, the degree of your fear is so great that it makes conception impossible so far. But, anyway, healthy children (in the sense of no serious developmental disabilities) are still born much more than patients. Since your psyche does not perceive these logical arguments, it means that there is something else behind this fear. That is, in fact, you are not afraid of the birth of a sick child, of something else you don’t know yet. And while you do not know this, then nothing can be done about it. The first thing I would definitely suggest you do is work with a psychologist to clarify your true object of fear. And then you can think about how to handle it, and whether it is worth it to be SO afraid. In any case, with any object of fear that is well understood, many effective actions can be performed — take precautions, defend, avoid and

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