You are only planning or already expecting a second child in the family, but do not know how to communicate this news to your first child? We will tell you when it is best to tell the baby about your second pregnancy and how to prepare the child for the birth of a brother or sister.
After the birth of the first child, after some time the parents begin to visit the idea of the second child in the family. If you are from such couples, then sooner or later you will have to tell your baby that you are pregnant again. How exactly the child will perceive this news and what will be its reaction depends on you.
When to inform the child the news about the second pregnancy
Most experts recommend waiting until the pregnancy is reliably strengthened, that is, somewhere after the first trimester, when the risk of miscarriage is already maximally reduced. If you are doing prenatal screening or testing, you can wait until the survey results are obtained.
It is also advised to wait until the pregnancy begins to manifest. It can be difficult for your child to imagine that another child is growing inside you if your body is still looking. He will be able to see and understand what you are talking about as soon as you have a small tummy.
It is also likely that you will want to give the child a special message at about the same time as the rest of the world. As soon as you tell him, he will want to share the news (no need to ask the child to keep a secret, it is useless). And as soon as you tell all your friends and relatives, it will be much more difficult to hide information from the child, because people will congratulate and inevitably start talking about pregnancy. Naturally it is better if the child learns that the family is expected to replenish, from you, and not from the neighbor.
If you need to explain to the child why you are sick, you feel bad or tired before you are ready to declare a pregnancy, just tell the incomplete truth – you really are not good and you are really tired. In any case, it is better not to attribute such symptoms to pregnancy so that the child does not blame the baby growing inside of you that your mother is bad and she cannot play.
When you are ready to talk about pregnancy, choose a moment when the child is relaxed and not associated with any other stressful events, such as going to first grade or having a cold.
Choose a quiet period so that the child has time to digest the news and ask questions. Avoid transitional moments: at bedtime or on the way to school. It is best to start such a conversation with a child in the presence of both parents.
What to do if miscarriage occurs after the announcement of pregnancy news
In the unlikely event of the loss of a child, you can explain to the child that the baby could not grow big enough to be born, and later you may try again to “make” a brother or sister.
It’s okay if a child sees your tears and sadness. He can also express sadness or confusion, which is absolutely normal in this situation. You can help him cope with his feelings by listening to him and taking care of himself emotionally and physically so that he can see how you come back to life.
As a child to inform the news that he will have a brother or sister
A few weeks before you tell your child about the pregnancy, it would be nice to start preparing the soil. Perhaps you should start reading some children’s books about brothers and sisters, talk with your child about his friends who have younger brothers and sisters, and then add that one day he might have someone younger.
Children love to hear about the times when their parents were young, so you can safely tell about your childhood with your brothers and sisters. Memories must be positive, even if you have to embellish something.
For example, to say that at first you did not understand what and why this new little man does in your home, but then you were happy that you had a great company for games.
When you are ready to tell your child about pregnancy, speak simply, positively and clearly. For example, “Right now, a mother’s baby is growing in her tummy, so in the spring you will have a brother or sister.” Remember that a child does not always understand how long it takes for a baby to appear. Therefore, it is better to associate the time of birth with something familiar – with a specific time of year or holiday, so that the child is not lost in calculating the gestational age.
What will be the reaction of the child to the news about the appearance of the second child
In most cases, the child will either have no reaction at all, or he will be confused and a little worried. If the child is very excited, tell him to share the news with his grandparents or other close person. Even if this person already knows about pregnancy, your child will feel that he is playing an important role, allowing the rest of the world to know about the arrival of a new person.
If the child is embarrassed or upset by the news, ask him to share his concerns. If you accept the complex feelings of a child, it will be much easier for him to find joy in himself.
Explain that it is common for a person to experience mixed feelings — both joy and sadness — while learning about the appearance of a child in the family.
After that, let the child decide for himself how much and what other information he wants to know. No need to overload him with facts if he is not interested. But be prepared for the fact that the child asks how the baby appeared in your belly. Then do not hesitate and talk to the child about “this.”
To make it easier and more fun for your child to expect a brother or sister, involve him in preparing the home and life for the emergence of a new family member, thereby laying the foundations for making the baby.
Pregnancy and childbirth
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