There are no situations in life that could not be resolved with benefit for all participants of events. Thinking people try to analyze and understand why everything happened. What conclusions need to be made in order not to try to enter the same river twice. Fools continue to make mistakes, again and again stepping on a rake. Clever learn from others. When his wife left with a child, any man wonders what to do next? Should I return the one that runs from a sinking family ship? Or is it better to leave everything as it is and not run after it? To understand this puzzle, you need to understand what family relationships are built on. What reasons led a woman to such a serious step.
Bouquets, sweets, oaths in eternal love – everything passes through it, at least once in life. Someone this period is delayed for decades, but most people are subdued in front of the gray everyday routine. Was there love? Often it is confused with completely different feelings.
- Jealousy. The desire to completely possess a person, the need for every minute control is often confused with love.
- A pity. Sometimes people pity those who are close to them, falsely taking it as love. So you can feel sorry for the hamster, which is tired, but sorry to throw it away, because it will die. In such cases, a fictitious understanding of responsibility plays a fatal role.
- Habit. Well, warm, satisfying – go with the flow, protecting ourselves, trying not to fall into the whirlwinds of passions and experiences. In its own way a convenient model that suits many people. So you can live all your life, unless you meet on the way … true love.
All of these factors play a key role when you unexpectedly encounter a situation in which the wife and child leave the family.
Should I return
This is the main question that you need to ask yourself first. If love reigns in your little world, you can forgive everything. In this case, it is worthwhile to return the woman. If there is no love, you are tired of each other to death – think about it, may your wife’s departure your chance to start everything from scratch. When it is better not to save the family:
- if your life has become a single scandal;
- any trifle ends with squabbling, tears, shouts;
- the wife does not cause any feelings except irritation, anger, aggression;
- the spouse has not paid you any attention for a long time, being interested only in the financial component of family life;
- a woman constantly flirts with other men, making you jealous, and after jealousy scenes accused of scandal;
- you feel that you are not able to restrain yourself, and it comes to battering.
These are bad bells that indicate that there is no happiness in your home. But, even in this case, remember 2 things:
- no matter how you have a relationship with her, you are a father. Children love dad, you should give them full support;
- seek help from a family psychologist, perhaps the wife decided to leave the family with the child because she feels the same as you. A specialist will help you figure out how to behave and what to do next.
Family life rests on the desires, ambitions and interaction of two people. In most cases, both are to blame for breaking. There are the most common reasons why a woman is ready to pick up children and leave her hearth.
- The power of her husband. If a man tries to subjugate the life of his spouse, controlling her every step, sooner or later everything will end in flight. How quickly a relationship breaks down depends on the nature of the wife. Dependencies give in to calm, downtrodden girls, who, in the face of fear of loneliness or by virtue of upbringing, are ready to put their own interests, careers and all at the feet of a not always loving, but very powerful husband. In his face, she wants to see protection, love, well-established life. For this woman is ready to do everything. Often, her dream turns into a conscription, and a closed little world in prison.
- Spouse dependency. This is a pathological case. Where there is alcohol or drug addiction there cannot be a normal family. There are no women who like to look at the daily drinking and falling man, to see his impotence. Unless, of course, she does not do the same. Morning “amber” also does not add him points. Abuse of alcohol or drugs leads to:
- degradation of the individual;
- lack of livelihoods;
- domestic violence.
These arguments can break even strong relationships. After vain attempts to restore the former harmony, the woman will leave her spouse and take the children. He can only blame himself.
- Domestic violence often results from the first two factors. What makes a man beat his wife and children or morale them morally?
- lack of self-sufficiency;
- desire to establish itself at the expense of the weaker.
Can a woman live with such a man? Perhaps at the beginning – yes. She will have hope that everything will change soon. But this can not last long. Sooner or later, the instinct of self-preservation and the preservation of offspring will give its result. The family will collapse.
- Constant treason. Many men consider themselves polygamous creatures. Their half is unlikely to like it. Arguments such as: fear for the health of children and financial costs beyond the interests of the family, a sensible woman will be forced to think about what to do next. In some cases, the spouse is willing to tolerate her husband’s treason if he is a caring father and provides good for her and the children. This happens to couples who have lived together for a long period. At first, the wife painfully tolerates the new novels of the partner, but, having made sure that he does not want to leave the family, he gets used to it and does not pay attention to them. The man continues to behave the same way. This happens until another person appears in her life.
- New feelings. Women are less likely to go to the rupture of family relationships due to inflamed passions. This happens when a marriage was built on respect, affection, or if the husband had time to annoy. Big love can break old relationships built without fire. In the case when a new elect really loves a woman, finds an approach to her and her children, the chances of breaking up a marriage are rapidly growing.
- Sexual incompatibility. If in youth the sexual needs of a couple coincided, in adulthood, under the influence of hormonal adjustment, appetites can be very different. The woman makes her husband hear himself, he responds it shrugs. At this moment, the turned up partner who is ready to satisfy desire and to marry – can solve a problem not in favor of marriage.
- Irresponsibility. There is a category of men who, even in 50, remain boys. They are accustomed to put their interests and every minute desires above the interests of the family. If a woman is afraid to leave her baby to her husband, who does not see anyone except herself, a break is inevitable. The wife is looking for support in the man. She doesn’t need another child. Once, it bothers her, and his wife and children leave home.
The first thing a man feels is a blow to his ego. Rare members of the strong half of humanity are ready to sit down and analyze the causes of the gap. Most abandoned husbands, instead of wondering what to do next, are ready to give in to emotions. Here are the feelings most often caused by the departure of his wife and child:
- desire for revenge;
- desire to break away from reality with the help of alcohol.
Someone is looking for a spouse to make a scandal. Some people have hatred in their hearts, which blinds and does not give an opportunity to adequately assess the situation and take the right steps. You need to pull yourself together and consider the true causes of the incident. In order to understand what to do – sit down and listen to yourself and your desires.
Answer your questions:
- Do I love my wife?
- do I behave correctly towards her and the children;
- how could I hurt her;
- have there always been difficulties in relationships or have they appeared lately;
- Do I want my wife and children back;
- am I ready to admit my guilt in this situation;
- have I done everything to fully provide for my loved ones;
- am I ready to make no such mistakes in the future?
It is worth understanding how serious the intentions of your spouse. Often a woman leaves the family in order to prove readiness for drastic actions if the family puzzle is not resolved in her favor. Whether such a path is justified depends on the situation itself. Sometimes, leaving is a cardinal act that burns bridges. After a little analysis of your feelings towards your spouse, you need to develop a strategy and follow it strictly.
What to do
There are several steps you need to take.
- In the case when the problem lies in alcohol dependence or an overabundance of attention to the female, decide what is more precious to you: family, alcohol or other women. If your addiction is stronger than you, give peace to your wife, she has the right to happiness. Family is more expensive – say goodbye to a bad habit, faithfully keeping your promise to your spouse. Perhaps this is the last chance to save yourself and not fall into the deep abyss of degradation.
- Invite your wife to the table. During your cold war, children in no way should suffer. Tolerately and politely discuss with her how and when you can see them and what you are ready to do for them. Listen to the essence of her claims and reasons for leaving. Explain to the children that you and your mother have difficulty in relationships, but you still love them and remain a caring father. It is desirable that this was not only in words but also in deeds. If you want to return the spouse who left the family, it will be an important argument in your favor.
- The scandal and the desire to arouse pity in a woman are extremes that will once again make her disappoint in you. Finally convince the correctness of care from such a man. Do not allow such nonsense.
- Give her signs of attention, but try to do it without kinking and pressure. Take care of your family as if nothing happened. Offer financial assistance, support psychologically. Do not miss the opportunity to help with the housework.
- Do not manipulate children. If you threaten a woman by taking away her children, this will be a final and irrevocable collapse. She will automatically put you on the list of enemies. Any mother is ready to turn into an aggressive tigress, if someone encroaches on her children. Such a thought is the worst of all that can visit your head.
- Try to fulfill her wishes, if they are reasonable. To discuss your problems and find solutions to them, it is better to use a neutral territory. After the wife left the family, invite her to a cafe or restaurant. Bring in some romance. Perhaps this can stir up your own feelings. Try to move for some time in the candy-bouquet period. Such a strategy will help defeat merciless life.
- If the problem is sex, start with yourself. Visit a specialist. There is always a solution to this problem. There would be a desire.
Important! A woman must understand that no matter what, no matter what, you remain a reliable, decent and strong partner, a loving husband and a caring father. You are able to lead a family ship through a storm. If you provoked the gap, the spouse will be able to forgive and come back. These husbands are not scattered.
She still decided not to return? Remember the main thing:
- you gave each other wonderful moments;
- you have common children, which means that you are in a sense blood relatives;
- no one knows how your life will go on;
- in difficult situations you relied on each other.
Therefore, behave like a civilized, educated person. Give up the temptation to put your wife around the world, taking away property. There is nothing more annoying than a greedy man. Maintain friendship, respect, good relations with your ex. And most importantly, if you still love her, do not give up hope for the revival of the family. Beloved woman must be conquered again and again, at any age and any situation. Do good to native people – a pleasant mission.