There are certain rules that strengthen healthy relationships, but do not work at all in toxic ones. If you are in a relationship with a predator, then you simply dangerous to follow these rules.
Forgive and forget. “With Narcissus, forgiving and forgetting the case of an abuse is the most dangerous thing you can do and it only strengthens his power over you.” Forgetting an abuzza pulls you back into a toxic atmosphere and you may not even notice how you will spend 50 years of marriage with an abuser. At this point, you will be painfully hurt for having spent your whole life on this toxic person. Abuse forgetting is a defense mechanism that many victims of psychopaths suffer from in order to protect themselves from suffering – but in order to heal from injury you need to be aware of what is happening to you. To stop coming back to the abuzer, you need to keep in touch with your anger, even when it was all over, remember it in order not to start romanticizing your abuzer.
Must be able to let go of the situation. “Let go” is the most harmful advice that an abuse victim can receive, but it is also the most frequent.
Whether his friends say, family members, spiritual organizations, a psychologist who does not know what a narcissistic title is – you can get retraumatization from people who do not believe that you have been injured.
In our society, very little information about the psychological and emotional abjuz. At best, people can be against physical violence, very few people know about emotional. But even with respect to physical violence, the attitude “to blame, to bring the peasant” is quite common. The problem is that when you deal with a narcissistic abuse: hidden manipulations, distortion of reality, changes of idealization and depreciation, constant scandals and emotional violence – you cannot “let go”, neither big events nor small incidents. Because each of them is a link in a long chain of reactions to the initial trauma. The smallest event pulls the link that drags the whole chain.
You need to think about what happened to cope with the trauma. Therefore, talking to an abuse victim, especially having PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), “let go” is the most cruel and terrible thing a person can say.
Do not stoop to his level. “You all heard this myth, that an abuzer can do anything with you, but if you eventually react to it and act ugly, then shame on you and shame.” The truth is that we are all people, it hurts us, and we can develop adaptive reactions to what happens to us. If you are dealing with a chronic abuse, you can develop the habit of crying to hysterics in response to it, planning suicide, dreaming of revenge – and you should not be ashamed of it. You have suffered a lot and no one has the right to judge you, and especially those who have no idea what it is.
No one has the right to teach you that you should react normally to abnormal behavior. Sometimes you have to go down to a certain level in order to survive in a toxic environment. This does not mean that you will stay there or that you are like him. It just means that you are a living person, not a robot, and you react as you can.
It all depends on you. If you are smart enough / beautiful / you have a normal self-esteem, you will not become a victim of Narcissus.
No one can be too beautiful, too smart / wise, too successful, too strong to fall prey to an abuse.
Beautiful, strong, intelligent, successful, self-confident women from a wide range of social backgrounds may experience abjuzu and no one is immune to the trauma effect. From people who haven’t had this experience and who have difficulty with compassion, one can hear, “If it happened to me, I would do it like this” – this is the same thing as boasting in front of the TV! You will never know what your reaction will be to abyuz, until you get into this situation.
I know a lot of women whose lives were at their peak: both beautiful and career develops by the time they met Narcissus. They began to lose themselves. They thought they had met the love of their life, but it turned out that it was a predator, a wolf in sheep’s clothing, their faith in themselves and in their value was destroyed.
Abuse does not depend on the victim; this is the work of an abnormal toxic person with a personality disorder. No one deserves an Awesome and everyone deserves love, care and respect.
You need to learn to trust a person before he gives you a reason to doubt him. – No, you need to learn how to build trust gradually, step by step. People are different, good and bad. In addition to predators and psychos, there are also egoists and simply people with values so different from yours that what is good for him will be disgusting to you. As long as you do not know who is in front of you, you cannot be emotionally invested in a relationship with him. Time will tell. You will communicate and see for yourself. Just remember: relationships should not be hard work. If it becomes hard and you have to work a lot, then something is wrong.
If you want to end this relationship once and for all and never again fall for Narcissus’s hook, come to the Narcissus Nightmare seminar on April 9th. Go to read the video course program.>>>>