They look exactly the same as we do, behave in the same way as everyone else, and most often do not stand out from the crowd. The difference in consciousness – sociopaths have absolutely no sense of guilt. At times it seems that they enjoy making others suffer. How to protect yourself? Clinical psychologist Jonis Webb reports.
Do you have a lot of familiar sociopaths?
Most likely, you will answer that you only saw them on TV. And most likely you will be wrong.
“The image of a sociopath created by television is more like a caricature of psychopaths. Tony Soprano, Hannibal Lecter, Dexter Morgan. If you believe the movies, they all love to break the laws and kill people, – notes clinical psychologist Jonis Webb (Jonice Webb). – But in reality there is a different type of sociopath, and it is much more frightening. They could be your aunt, your father, or the chairman of your parent committee at school. ”
They look exactly the same as we do, behave in the same way as everyone else, and most often do not stand out from the crowd. But the difference in consciousness. Sociopaths have absolutely no guilt feelings, like conscience, and basic human emotions, such as love, warmth, true intimacy and responsibility. But they know perfectly well how all this should look, and know how to portray it: they are wonderful actors. Such an idea can scare, because it is not clear how to recognize a sociopath. Moreover, even experts in the field of psychology can hardly calculate a sociopath. He is often credited with narcissism or borderline personality disorders. Indeed, these three basic types of personality have common signs, but still they differ markedly from each other. And the main difference between daffodils and “border guards” from sociopaths is that the first two have a sense of guilt.
So how to understand that you are dealing with a sociopath? Jonis Webb highlights a few basic signs that you can pay attention to.
Six signs of a sociopath
- He is rude and / or insulting, but at the same time he expects that you will not react to this and will act as if nothing had happened.
- Manipulates others, either directly or indirectly.
- Always treats you differently, at different times or on different days, without any obvious reason.
- It can easily lie if it is necessary to rid yourself of the trouble.
- Always blame someone else. Sociopath never admits his own guilt for mistakes or crimes.
- At times it seems that he really enjoys manipulating or insulting others.
It doesn’t matter if there is someone among your acquaintances who fits this description or not, you would hardly like to be treated in this way. We have a few tips on how to protect yourself when dealing with someone you suspect is a sociopath.
Four steps to protect yourself
- Be always on guard. Know what can and cannot be expected from a sociopath.
- Avoid contacting such a person for emotional support or advice. Your helplessness will only give him a reason to hurt you.
- Imagine the border between yourself and the sociopath, mentally fix this picture. Imagine a wall that protects you. Everything that a sociopath says and that can offend you, just bounces off this imaginary wall.
- No need to justify a sociopath. Instead, make him responsible for his own actions. The harder you insist on it, the less sociopath will try to manipulate you.
If a sociopath has children
The sociopath can cause the greatest harm to its own children in the process of education, making them feel unloved. And this is often inevitable, because their dad or mom is simply not capable of parental love. But the child does not know this, so grows with confidence that he is unworthy of love. And this is one of the most painful and traumatic feelings in life.
The problems of such children are complicated by the fact that no one wants to believe that his mom or dad is a sociopath. This gives the sociopath parent even more power. Even as adults, a son or daughter chooses to believe that their parent acted with the best of intentions and still loves them.
Although this distortion of the truth is more comfortable and less painful, it can actually cause harm. In general, the less we understand what our parents really are, the more power they have over us, and for this you have to pay a high price.
Another extra step for a sociopath’s child: always remind yourself that your parent’s inability to love is entirely due to their inner limitations and is in no way connected to you.
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