In the light of the ongoing struggle with counterfeit hospital and medical certificates, several of my friends saw their local doctors for the first time for the first time and … they started romance with them! Frankly, I became jealous: for a long time in my life did not happen romantic adventures. Yes, and medical examinations, too. Suddenly I will be able to grab a piece of personal happiness in a white robe? And it will not work, so at least I’ll check my health.
D doctor Aibolit, he is sitting under investigation …
However, recently not all people in white coats have shown themselves in the best way. Recently, a whole series of “cases of doctors” died out, as a result of which all “aibolites” who abused their official position got. Both to those who allegedly molested patients, and those who haggled over sick leave. Male doctors who live in the capital complain more often than others about the obscene behavior of male doctors who, when examined, “do not respect the patient’s personal shyness”. What exactly lies behind this vague wording, embarrassed women of the East do not specify – probably shy. However now this question should be clarified. After all, the fight against fake certificates and sick leave has led to the fact that many Muscovites who are always busy – like me – have finally got around to see people in white coats in person. Now, in order to leave, say, to a sanatorium or bring a disability sheet to work, it is not enough to look through the window of the registry, you need to visit the doctor personally. And this is only for the better: after all, health should be monitored not in absentia, but in person. I am ashamed to admit: I am terribly afraid of doctors, and have not visited them for a hundred years. And if suddenly I needed some kind of medical certificate, I was following the easiest and fastest way – I just bought it. But when, in order to finally have a map in the clinic, I found myself in the walls of a medical institution, I realized: this is not at all so terrible and even fascinating. Especially when the doctor is an interesting man. So I decided to sort it out, finally, with all of my medical problems that I had been saving for more than one year. And at the same time to find the answer to the question that has long interested me: what does the stronger sex in a white coat, and when an attractive patient comes to see him and begins to flirt openly? “If you are afraid of undressing in front of a doctor, try to imagine that he is just a man,” says a popular medical joke. Doctors are generally distinguished by a peculiar sense of humor and absolute conviction: what is natural is not ugly. And the male doctors in the women’s eyes are fanned with a special noble veil – any lady is pleased when the noble knight of a scalpel or phonendoscope comes to the rescue in a difficult moment and relieves pain. One of my friends, for example, is confident that the doctor is the sexiest male profession. And it confirms it in practice: she fell in love with medical students all her youth, and eventually married a proctologist. And lives with him in perfect harmony for more than 10 years. So, someone is offended by the “harassment” of the doctor, and someone starts a novel and even gets married. This is quite natural, because the boundaries of what is permitted by everyone are different – and the fact that one seems normal and even likes it causes indignation in others. And over the years, every doctor develops an individual style of behavior with patients …
Sexologist and psychologist Yana Enikeeva: – Psychologists have long noted: light flirting improves labor productivity. Doctors are no exception. Imagine that you totally dislike the doctor. Will you be treated? Now imagine that he does not like you. The third situation: the doctor is sympathetic to you, and he shows you his sympathy in every possible way. Which of these three doctors would you prefer to be treated for? Between the doctor and the patient is quite acceptable light verbal flirting – to create a positive attitude in the patient. However, no self-respecting doctor will go no further. If he allows himself something more, and even more, some kind of sexual activity, then this is at least a violation of medical ethics. If we are talking about specific sexual harassment, this is a crime that needs to be reported to the relevant authorities.
Still, it is scary to go to the doctor: what if (damn it three times!) Find something incurable? No, you have to set yourself up positively! What gives me enthusiasm is the fact that quite recently literally near my place there were as many as two love stories with the participation of the doctor’s doctor. First, my husband left my manicurist Masha. Machines are a husband, an anaesthesiologist, and earns money as a “doctor-chemologist” – takes them out of drinking bouts at home. And then they called him to the washed down peasant. The patient lay motionless on the sofa. A wife fussed around him. Mashkin chemist did everything that was necessary: put a drip and gave the poor thing sleeping pills. The drunkard turned off, and his wife offered tea-coffee to the doctor. Feast, apparently, ended the bed. Right under the barrel of her husband snoring under the drip. And the next day, the chemist announced to his manicurist wife that he had fallen in love with another. Well, my own husband, I apologize for the details, enrolled in a course of deep cleansing of the intestines in the clinic at Rublevka. When, returning from the procedure, the faithful began to boast that a young nurse tried to “glue” him, I was very surprised: – But you were with an enema in the pope! – But she put her there! – proudly retorted husband. Say, elite medical staff did not peck at the cat in the bag, but at the very face of the goods. Well, if even with a half-dead body and an enema in one place, erotic adventures are possible, then I definitely have a chance to find love in a white coat! And I’m going after her. Of course, I make an appointment only with male doctors.
Plastic Surgeon: High Renome
“I want to enlarge my chest,” I said in a well-known Moscow plastic surgery clinic. Before me is her leading specialist. Charming man, 40 years old, face and figure in perfect order. “Show me,” the surgeon smiles. I readily demonstrate the bust, which, frankly, I do not complain. I follow the reaction of the doctor. Alas, the shadow of the basic instinct does not flicker on his face – only professional interest: – I would not advise you, – the doctor notes. – In my opinion, the optimal size. And surgery is a big stress for the body. – Well then, maybe I should increase the buttocks? – I ask, and turning my back to the doctor, pull down my jeans. I have frank thongs on me. My appearance is extremely provocative: I put my ass on the back, I look over my shoulder. But the doctor adequately maintains and this show. I do not observe any animal shine in his eyes. He dispassionately probes my gluteal muscles – there is no erotic overtones in his touch, and you will not spend a woman on this issue. In general, no matter how I turned in front of the aybolite from plastic surgery, the reaction was zero. I didn’t even have a palpation of the chest, but I could Maybe he just did not like me? Or was he afraid to spot the reputation of his clinic? When I finally fastened my jeans and bra, my first doctor looked me straight in the eye: – My advice is not to touch your figure. And if you certainly want to tune your appearance, better adjust the shape of the nose. – I do not want a nose! – I was offended. – I like him! Goodbye doctor!
Gynecologist: nothing personal
My girlfriend told about her gynecologist, who first puts her in the gynecological chair, and then slowly sterilizes the instruments, telling jokes of obscene properties. – Maybe he is a voyeur, loves to look at the female genitals? – I guess. “He is on duty only and looks at the genitals, then you will become an anti-watchman,” the girlfriend reasoned me. – No, apparently, he specifically jokes to defuse the situation. In the chair, all the women are straining, and this is not good for inspection. But I’m nervous about his behavior a hundred times stronger … I ask a friend to book me for an appointment with this doctor. Honestly, I’m nervous. In my opinion, only a pervert can flirt in a gynecological chair. But I need to check the doctor for “firmness”. I sit in the kitchen, listening to the greasy joke from the doctor – the girlfriend did not lie. Finally, the doctor turns to me in gloves and with a mirror in his hand: “Well, let’s get started … I look closely at the doctor’s face, assess the facial expression and the expression of the eyes. But you have to admit: nothing personal, pure gynecology. Again, bummer!
Cardiologist: we are not afraid of Hippocrates
I decide to visit a heart doctor – maybe he will be more sensitive to female charms? The cardiologist in my district clinic is a very young man with glasses. I complain about the pain in the left side of the chest. The young doctor tells me to strip to the waist and lie down on the couch. Then he fastens the wires with suction cups on me. And his eyes are burning! At the moment, he wants his patient – and very clearly! I wonder if anything will do? Five minutes later, the young man coughs embarrassedly: – A slight arrhythmia, weak noises … But in general, there is no pathology. You can get up. I stand up from the couch and reach for the clothes. “Wait,” the doctor stops me. – Do you smoke? “I smoke,” I confess. – Then listen! – a young man in a white robe takes me by the hand (just for the one with which I am drawn to my bra) and begins a lengthy lecture on the dangers of smoking. A voice that breaks with excitement for a long time carries something about carcinogens and resins, while he himself stares straight into my heart, according to his specialization. Then the door to the office opens, and a nurse appears on the threshold: – Mark Semenovich, the head physician will call you urgently. Poor Mark Semenovich instantly turns crimson like cancer and shoves my hand off: – Get dressed! You will need to come again, I didn’t like the background noises … I am going away satisfied. Though I liked the cardiologist. Of course, I will not go to him anymore, but it’s still nice … However, perhaps it’s not all about the lack of professional ethics, but just in your youth. The instincts of the young body Hippocrates is not a decree.
Manual therapist: body like a profit
If you believe the statistics of law enforcement agencies, more often than others, chiropractors are involved in “harassment” and even rape of patients. By the way, the coach has long been pointing me to possible problems in the lower back … I find an office in a paid clinic, consultation – 1000 rubles. Is this money even more raped? I am met by the uncle of uncertain age, with the appearance of “without any special signs”. I crawl on back pain, strip my waist and lie down on the couch. Aesculapius starts to conjure over my back – he ruins, taps, rubs. I relax, close my eyes and enjoy. The chiropractor’s voice draws me out of my sleep: “You have problems, honey.” It looks like a vertebral displacement, although I am not sure. You need to come to us for an x-ray, then again to me at the reception, then … Then follows a listing of the spectrum of medical services required by my back. Of course, they are all paid. I hopelessly nod and understand: I don’t care about this patient’s body as a source of pleasure. It interests him only as a source of profit.
Dentist: sleight of hand and no fraud
You don’t have a special toothache, because you’ll have to sit with your mouth open. Therefore, I put on the shortest skirt from my arsenal of mass destruction outfits. I am broke for consultation in elite stomatology. I take a spectacular pose in a scary tooth chair and start asking about Hollywood veneers (read in women’s gloss): – I want such thin white stickers on my teeth, like Angelina Jolie. I’m kind of like her, right? An impressive doctor with a noble gray hair is not looking at my teeth, but at the legs — with a skirt I was not mistaken. Previously, probably, this gentleman was very handsome, but now he is lost for women because of his age. However, it turned out that he himself does not think so. – Open your mouth, dear, – Aesculap shoves my saliva ejector, thereby interrupting my flow of eloquence. By forcibly depriving me of the right to vote for about ten minutes, the doctor has time to: a) ream one tooth; b) arrange a date for me; c) report that he is married and never divorced; d) hint that if I am affectionate, Hollywood veneers will get me at half price. It is clear that this Lovelace has the developed technology of the “glue” of patients. If I agree on a date with the doctor, then I can assign him a rendezvous right now. And if I find myself “not like that,” he will say to my indignation that anesthesia had a bad effect on my hearing and brains …
Ear-nose-throat: blowing in the ears
But the champion of the erotic genre (who would have thought!) Is the doctor-lor, who since our childhood has been associated with snot, tonsil and glands. I find this healer in one of the polyclinics near Moscow, next to his cottage. He’s pretty cute. On me – frank neckline, fragrant lip gloss and perfume. Throat, I say, it hurts, it’s hard to swallow. And lays the ears. – Say “aaaa”, – the doctor disposes. This, in fact, the inspection ends. A provincial ear-nose-throat doesn’t look at me, but it starts to ride over them. Not at all embarrassed, he reports that oral sex helps with throat problems. And if at the same time to swallow it is clear that, then the face skin will become better and immunity will increase. – And in general, do you know how to protect yourself from swine flu? – the doctor is interested. – We must make love more often! Regular sex is good for the whole body and for ENT organs too. If you trust me and obey me, your throat will pass and your immunity will increase! Here the earball aibolit winks at me playfully, I swear! It makes me laugh. I giggle, the doctor regards it as almost an agreement and slaps me on the priest for parting. This is a clear violation of professional ethics. If he had tugged at my nose or ear, it would have been somehow specialty …
Seriously, I didn’t see any special harassment in the behavior of all the above doctors. Moreover, I provoked them myself – and not weakly. However, it should be borne in mind that I have not yet put an enema and drip … Summary: men in white coats behave differently – like all men in the world. Internal decency does not depend on the dressing gown, but on the person. And Hippocrates, as I was convinced, skillfully interpret briefly to fit his needs.