Mourning the loss

Transcript

1 SORRYING A LOSS OF SOMEONE VERY SIGNIFICANT Developed by Marge Heegaard Translated by Tatyana Panyusheva To fill in with children Name Age

2 You have experienced a very difficult time. And the fact that you have confused thoughts and feelings is natural. A lot of people care about you now, and they want to help you. This book was written so that you can learn how to cope with your many complex memories and experiences. Read the text written on each page and draw a picture that will occur to you. Fill out the pages of this book in order. You can skip some tasks if you feel that you are not yet ready to complete them. But try to return to them later. You will share what you do with the adult who cares about you. It will help you. It will be easier if you talk about your ri rimas. This book will not be a regular picture album. It will be a story about very difficult times in your life. I hope filling this album will help you feel better and recover.

3 I remember the times when I was (a) happy (a). (Draw a picture of what you did (a) then.) Everything has changed. Happy time can be replaced by sad. But sadness will also pass. Children can learn how to deal with change. one

4 The loss of a significant person is a painful experience, because of which a lot in life is changing. I really need to (complete the sentence with words or a picture.) Many people know about your difficulties and try to help you. 2

5 Some of the people close to me died. (Draw a picture or write the names of your family members and friends who are no longer alive.) When people die, they cannot go back. It is important that they be mourned and remembered. 3

6 A person very close to me died because (End a sentence with words or a picture.) This person was important to me because (End a sentence with words or a picture.) 4

7 I remember wonderful moments that are associated with this important person for me. (Draw a picture of this time so that it helps you to remember this.) Maybe you have a lot of important people for you that you need to remember. You can fill a few pages with memories of them. It is difficult, but it is important to find a way to say goodbye to those who died. five

8 It is important that there is a specific order of action to say goodbye to those who have died a ritual. All over the world, people have special rituals of farewell to dead people. (Draw a picture of those rituals that are important to your family.) It’s not at all easy to say goodbye to your loved one. 6

9 All people have something that makes them special, not similar to each other. Some call it the soul. When people die, the soul leaves the body. Someone believes that the soul goes to heaven to God. Others believe that it remains in the hearts of those whom the person loved. Someone believes that the soul is then reborn in a different form. (Draw a picture of what you believe in after death.) Different countries and religious teachings have different ideas about what happens after death. 7

10 Sometimes terrible pictures arise in my thoughts or appear to me in a dream. (Draw a picture of terrible thoughts or dreams that you have had.) Perhaps when you depict these terrible thoughts on paper and can discuss them with someone, it will be easier for you. eight

11 People have many different feelings. MOUNTAIN is the word for describing all those experiences that a person experiences within himself when he loses someone close. BURNING is a word for describing the expression of these feelings. Denial, Loss. Feelings can arise: fear, guilt, anger, sadness, loneliness, helplessness. You begin to feel better, you have hopes for something good. Experiencing grief can either intensify or weaken oncoming and receding like waves in the ocean before recovery . The death of the person you love is very difficult to accept. For a while you may not feel anything. This is called SHOCK or DENIAL. At this time, it is impossible to believe what happened. Then, when feelings begin to appear, they can be very painful, confused, heavy. Creating drawings can help to understand these feelings and express them in an acceptable way. Painful losses and changes lead to the fact that a person becomes more mature and stronger. 9

12 Feelings call it that because you feel it in some parts of your body. (Close your eyes and think about those times when you experienced strong feelings. Choose and mark your color for each feeling. And then make a mark on the picture where you feel this or that feeling.) Sadness anger wine helplessness hope fear joy shame confusion excitement If the feelings remain locked inside, they can cause physical pain. All feelings are normal, and you need to be able to express them safely. Feelings change over time. ten

13 There will be a lot of sadness, because so much is lost. (Draw a picture of your sadness using light colors and light strokes.) Crying is normal. Crying helps to release some of the sadness. eleven

14 It is normal to be very angry with what happened. (Draw on the sheet what causes your anger. Then, pressing hard on the pencil, rub out the drawing in red.) There is nothing wrong with feeling angry, but you cannot harm yourself or others because of this spoil things. 12

15 Sometimes a feeling of guilt may arise. It often seems to children that they could be the cause of bad events or that they could somehow prevent them. (Draw a picture of what you would like to do, but did not. Or what you did, but you would like it not to be.) You shouldn’t do anything. It’s not your fault that other people died. 13

16 Some people feel so lonely that they want to die too. (Draw a picture of what it is like to be a survivor.) Death is not an option for you. Choose a decent life. 14

17 I continue to live, and I learn to cope with difficult times. I can free up some space in my life for joy. (Draw what you usually do and what you would like (a) to start doing in order to cope with grief and other problems.) Many people care about you and try to make you feel better. You are a very good and unique person. 15

Mourning the loss

18 I am learning to break free from bad memories, and to keep good memories of those whom I loved and lost. (Draw something from those good memories that you want to keep.) You can keep good memories and the love that these people gave you. sixteen

19 Bad things happen, but good things happen. (Draw a picture of something good that you hope will happen.) Try to hope and dream of the good times that will come. 17

20 On these sheets you can write and draw on those feelings and thoughts that are important to you, for which you did not have enough space in the album. 18

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