This is a fragment from the book Vit (Vit) “Women’s secrets. First sexual experience: Stories of real women The book is in our library Love, family, sex and about …
This book is the result of an unusual project implemented in 2002 on the Internet. Before you about 500 stories of 213 women about their first sexual experience. These are absolutely frank stories told by real women without embarrassment or embellishment.
Intimate life is not for nothing called that way. Of all aspects of human life, it is the most closed, although it is more important than many others. This is not an area where you can easily get advice or advice from relatives, friends, acquaintances, not to mention outsiders. It is not easy to ask anyone such questions. In search of the necessary information, one often has to buy a popular science book, where the author presents thousands of people / his / his point of view on the question of interest and offers those solutions that he himself considers correct. But is it right? And if the opposite? Maybe it’s better if not one person gives advice to others, and hundreds of people themselves will tell each other stories about what really happened to them, share their impressions, explain the motives of their actions in various situations? Imagine that instead of a single sexologist, you have 213 relaxed and completely frank girlfriends who will not hesitate to share their personal experience with you!
It is impossible to discuss the innumerable variety of situations in the intimate sphere.
We chose only one theme – / first sexual experience /. Why? It is precisely when there is still no personal experience that the most difficult thing is to make a decision.
The error in these cases is very expensive – you may have to regret for the rest of your life. And here the stories, tips and opinions of more experienced people are especially helpful.
1. The first erotic sensations
2. The first conscious desire for sex
3. First intimacy with a partner
4. The first orgasm
5. The first betrayal
6. Other (non-standard situations).
In our opinion, these are critical, “key” points of formation of female sexuality, which can determine the nature of further actions and ultimately, perhaps, fate.
Early manifestations of child eroticism and teenage sexuality are almost a taboo topic. But it is the first sexual emotions that often cause the effect of “imprinting”, imprinting, postponing the imprint on all subsequent perception of intimate relationships. On this basis, a lot of complexes, fears and doubts about their own usefulness often arise. But does anyone talk about this in everyday life? Or – if the mother is faced with such manifestations in the life of her daughter – how can she help her, who can ask for advice?
Sooner or later, the girl is faced with the need to make a decision to start a sex life. How to do this most wisely, without making common mistakes?
Orgasm – the apotheosis of intimate relationships. But not so easy, he comes to a woman. How to achieve orgasm? It is unlikely that the intricate gymnastics of the Kama Sutra and the dry advice of a sexologist are useful here – this is all individually and depends on the psychological background.
Second man How and why does a woman come to the decision to part with her first? Such a solution is a pain point for many. What to do, so that the bitter sediment does not remain for a lifetime?
Without a doubt, the stories of women who have already answered these questions with their own experience will be useful to those whose experience is still insufficient.
However, the book may be even more useful for men. Surely many would like to know – what do women / actually / think about them when they are not bound by the need to pretend? What do they like and what don’t?
How to choose – / with whom /? What do men expect from their first time? Why do they change? What do they have in their heads ?:
This book is a unique opportunity for men to learn about the motives and emotions that drive women, not from the stories of friends, but from the first mouth.
Perhaps this will teach them to better understand women and not to make ignorant fatal mistakes in personal relationships.
But the taste of sea water can be tasted and a separate drop.
As in life, these answers include nobility and cunning, love and calculation, sincere feeling and overt cynicism, and much more. We do not intend to moralize, approve or blame anyone. Different people, different characters.
But readers are also different people. That is why everyone can find in this book something useful for themselves if they think a little.
Analyzing situations that happened to hundreds of other people, you can always find the one that is most similar to your own. See how the other person behaved in this situation, what came out of it, whether the decision made by him suits you (or it makes sense to act differently). In any case, the one who reads this book will surely be able to make sure that he is not alone with his problem.
This does not detract from the importance of sexology and does not deny the need for scientific knowledge. But the information that can be gathered from this book is unique in its own way and will serve as a valuable addition to the sum of our knowledge about the intimate sphere. Rather, it is knowledge about / behavior / various people in key situations of intimate life — something that neither the sexologist nor the psychologist will tell.
This is known only by the person who himself went through everything.
The terms of the project provided complete anonymity for its participants. On http: //
Several “suggestive” questions were given for each item of the Questionnaire (they are written in italics at the beginning of each chapter of the book). But a mandatory answer to these questions was not required.
There was neither a doctor asking for details, nor a nurse recording “confession.” There was no need to write the envelope in my own handwriting and leave a return address. It was enough to just go to the page, knock on the keyboard, filling in the fields of the questionnaire, and press the Send button.
In spite of the fact that many stories had to be edited and literary processed, whenever possible we tried to preserve their spirit, style and even slang.
FIRST REALIZED DESIRE OF SEX
/ When did you want to constantly evoke sexual feelings?
What was the impulse? How did you manage to achieve this?
What did you feel about it? Did you have to hide it from others?
Did the developed habits affect the subsequent sex life? / 3. __, __ I «2 3 4 5 6.
When I was about sixteen years old, my peers looked like children in all respects. I wanted to be beautiful and desirable, and not for anyone.
But then I met a young man who was seven years older than me. He did not possess any special qualities, but was very attractive. It was for him that I wanted / become a woman /. Captivate yourself, to achieve in all senses. It was a definite struggle. He was married and there were women besides his wife. I was a completely inexperienced virgin. All the women’s qualities woke up in me and I began to develop them.
I became for him the only one with which he wanted to be. Itself did not think that I can become so shameless. Manila and left, promised with one eyes and saw the result …
I “made” myself sexually significant for one, and many wanted it. And over time, this did not pass. I still do not need to shove my chest in the neckline. It’s enough just to spend the evening talking …
An erection from the interlocutor will be impressive.
4. Diana, 39 1 3 4 5.
Pretty quickly my first sexual feelings turned into a constant sexual interest. Already after the first class, when I was sent for the summer to the grandparents in the village. The place was very quiet, I was allowed quite a lot of freedom.
For days, my girlfriend and I ran all over the village, played where we wanted, even ran away into the forest, now into the field. That summer there were heavy rains and a large puddle formed behind the outskirts of the village. She attracted our keen interest – it turned out it was great to let boats from wood chips or pine bark. Driven by the breeze, these ships often rushed to the center of the puddle and then they had to take off their shoes and climb them to help out.
The first time when I felt the touch of his fingers, the same keen sexual sensation arose in me, as in the case when the boys were looking at me in the Lenin’s room. Only now it came from the touch of someone else’s hand. Naturally, as soon as he set me on the ground, I immediately climbed into the water again. And again he took me out in the same way, and then my girlfriend.
She seemed to have the same feelings as me. At the same time, we giggled, shouted something, teasing him (as if we were crawling into water for mischief). In response, he mumbled notation about the dangers of cold water. It went on like that day after day, and we flirted to some kind of semi-insane state.
During the short way from the center of the puddle to the shore, the fingers of the guy feverishly studied us: feeling, crumpling, pulling. And it was an incomparable pleasure! Over time, even a special technique worked out – how to settle on his palm and substitute so that he was more comfortable to feel.
In the morning, barely awake, we fled from all feet to a puddle – to wait for our gentleman. I don’t know how to be a friend, but after a few days I began to run into the bushes along the way, take off my panties and hide there. The touches to the naked body turned out to be even more exciting, the fingers could penetrate the hollow, stroke and rub deeper, the sensations became unusually sharp. I now think that the girlfriend did not wear panties at all, because the guy gave us both equal attention.
At the same time, not a single word, not a single hint of the indecency of what is happening, was ever uttered between all of us. My friend and I just played boats, the guy took care of us, unwise. Outwardly, everything looked quite decently. Short, greedy sex games lasted only while we were hanging in the air. But neither the word nor the action, none of us stressed the existence of the sexual background of what is happening.
Only once, when for some reason the girlfriend was not allowed to go outside and we played this game together with a “cavalier”, he could not restrain himself. After one of the body removals he did not let me go, but, putting him on the ground, he continued to pull, stroke and grope for a long time. And while at the same time his finger managed to hit just the most sensitive point in the hollow (why I was twitching), I pulled away, quickly stopped the game and went home. The tacit agreement was broken and I felt ashamed. He shouldn’t just touch my letter!
These conventions and, in the end, led to the collapse of a wonderful game. The weather was hot and the puddle gradually dried up. For several days we resorted to this place and the three of us stood there in a state of confusion. There was no excuse anymore. And without a preposition it was impossible. What to do … I had to do other games, but forget about this one.
Since then, there has been a very clear direction of my sexuality – the predominant attraction to men. Unlike many girls, I never even tried to masturbate. But an unusual surge of sexuality arose when dealing with guys (especially older). I always liked their touches, even frank rude pats on the pope.
5. Valerija, 19 3 4 6.
Honestly, I don’t remember the exact age. Maybe 12 years old. I only know that I began to engage in masturbation with the help of water pressure in the shower. Unlike my friends, I was not ashamed of my sexual desire. Of course, my parents did not suspect anything, even though I ran to the bathroom almost every two hours.
I don’t remember how old I was, but I know that even in kindergarten, during a quiet hour, I clamped a pillow between my legs, put naked parts of my body and rubbed methodically. The first time I saw an erotic scene when I watched the film “Tabor goes to heaven” and experienced a strong sexual sensation. Then she found erotic stories with her older sister and very often reread them, necessarily holding a pillow or a soft toy between her legs.
At the same time I learned to carefully hide my habits from others, as my mother raised me in strict rules and all the time said that / this / is bad.
So I am satisfied when no one suspects about it, by reading some obscene stories and rubbing the clitoris on the pillow.
9. Nikita, 211 3 5 6.
Desire to sleep with someone did not arise. People around have always and always talked about it with rude mockery (I don’t know what); therefore, at times it seemed that sex was something dirty, vulgar … There was a desire to know love first, and already through it, intimate intimacy.
I considered suitable candidates for men to be about seven years older than myself. It seemed to me that these are experienced people who can really give a woman what she wants and dreams of, who have something to learn.
Knowing that this would be a shock to my parents, I did not tell anything about my thoughts. They were the last to know. Even now, if I meet a man, he will come home to me only when the wedding day is appointed and there are three days left for him.
I have no experience yet. I can only talk about how I learned to masturbate. That was almost a year ago, last spring. Before that, I had no particular sensations. But in the spring we began to walk the company with boys and girls. Just walked the streets, chatting, making fun. I began to have feelings that never existed.
It was as if I lived in anticipation of something light, it seemed that something wonderful was about to happen.
It was only a shame that none of the guys paid any attention to me. And I already wanted love! As time went on, our company slowly broke up into pairs, but I still had no one. And I began to feel lonely. I could not understand why I’m worse.
Once I was completely upset that everyone in the company was already talking about their relationship, and they seemed not to notice me. Offended at all and went home.
There was nobody at home, parents worked. I decided to undress and look at myself in the mirror. Understand what’s wrong with me.
When she undressed, she unexpectedly felt some kind of new state, a chill ran through the whole body and there was an unusual excitement. There was some sense of risk. She went to the mirror, began to look at herself. It seems everything is fine, and the chest and figure, I think, are beautiful. She ran her hands over her body and suddenly felt pleasure.
On this day, this was all over, because the mother came. And the next day I didn’t go with the guys, I immediately went home from school.
She undressed, lay down on the sofa and began to caress herself, thinking of one boy.
But soon she forgot about him because of surging sensations.
That day I first tried to stroke myself between my legs, and I especially liked it. True, for a long time I could not learn how to masturbate for real, only stroking myself from above on lips. It seemed to me that to penetrate deeper is a shame.
But weeks after; three everything turned out by itself. I am very wet from caresses, and my finger slipped between the lips. The feeling was very strong and sharp, I even gasped. But it was so nice that I forgot all shame and began to explore myself deeper. And very quickly learned to bring myself real pleasure.
Probably, I even had orgasms, although I have nothing to compare with. Now I masturbate almost every day and I like it / very much / like it.
I even like this word! MAS-TOUR-BA-ZIY: -)
14. Karina, 25 1 3 5.
I came with a friend to the familiar guys, with whom we have been dating for quite a long time.
They had porn Catherine and Rasputin. With red faces, we watched TV. Then there was solitude and passionate kisses. Everything in my panties flowed. It became painful. Perhaps I could surrender right now if asked. But due to the inexperience of my partner, the matter ended only with a kiss.
17. Olga, 25 3 4 5.
Probably already 9-10 years old when she realized how pleasant it is to touch yourself / there / with your hands. To feelings felt with interest, as to something new.
A conscious desire for intimacy with a partner appeared after I lost my virginity. I didn’t have any special impulse – I just realized at the age of 17 (it was at the dacha) that I wanted it terribly, anyway, with whom, if only right now. It was from that moment that I began to enjoy my intimacy.
21. Olga, 20 2 3.
The first conscious desire to have sex appeared quite early, somewhere at the age of 13-14 years. But the value system of my family, a very negative attitude of my parents to everything related to sex, played a role.
Therefore, erotic sensations, desires were suppressed by a sense of guilt.
The great fear of grieving my parents and, God forbid, getting pregnant were the main motivating reason for my abstinence.
The desire for sex has always arisen with love. I noticed that with respect to the object of my adoration, the feeling of disgust and rejection disappeared, I wanted intimacy and conventionality ceased to act.
But really wanted to experience and feel what is / this / – only after the first experience of masturbation. It was caused by curiosity, provoked by the publication in a fashionable women’s magazine, which was read by my sister, and watching a porn from a friend.
I was a sexually enlightened child and, due to a sufficiently early intellectual development, understood and perceived everything, as a rule, adequately. But family upbringing and the opinion of parents have long hung over me. I remember, I was very amazed when my sister, a person whom I, in principle, really trusted, refused to answer me the vital questions. Since she is 12 years older, I always hoped that she would be able to help me understand a lot, but she didn’t do it … And this conversation remained a stumbling block in our relationship with her …
It took time to get rid of many cliches, and complete detachment from the family, due to which there was still some devaluation of the “moral values” imposed on me. I still found myself and realized that sex is a necessary part of the relationship between a man and a woman.
24. Oksi, 30 1 3 5.
Many times afterwards I tried to evoke in me a feeling similar to the first. Not often, but from time to time, when the memories suddenly became very distinct, I tried to squeeze something with my feet. Tried a lot of things – toys, bottles, bottles, own hand. She even crawled on her back to the round leg of the table, pressed a vagina against it and tightly twisted her hips. But nothing worked.
Apparently, then, on the rope, the effect was due to some special muscle tension in this posture, plus, perhaps, the fear of height was superimposed. Just masturbation? I tried. Immediately, too, nothing interesting happened, so I abandoned these attempts. If I were more patient, I would probably have achieved the result. But it seemed to me that everything should happen, as then, instantly and sharply.
Once, when my parents were not at home, and suddenly “found” again, the word “vibrator” suddenly came to my mind, and I decided to try it. She pulled him out into the middle of the room, sat astride and moved the switch lever. There was a powerful buzz. I got comfortable and more strongly pressed to the vibrating surface. For a while I did not feel anything except vibration. And then suddenly / it / unexpectedly went. Not as sharp as on a rope, but quite noticeable.
The feeling was born at the point of contact with the surface and rose higher into the stomach. It could be regulated. Reinforce, if you press closer and clasp the vibrator with your hips, or weaken, changing the position.
Best of all it was rhythmically to sway on it.
To be honest, no bashfulness or fright arose in me. It was a real joy from the fact that I finally found what I was looking for for a long time. Therefore, I continued to carefully study the features and details of my discovery and most of all disturbed me – so that no one would hinder me.
After half an hour I got used to the sensations and their strength seemed to me not enough. So I turned off the vibrator, took off the workout pants along with the panties and stayed in the same T-shirt.
The excitement of my own nakedness gave me a new surge of emotions.
Squatting over the vibrator, I opened the lips with my fingers, spread them wide apart, spread them across the varnished surface and pressed tightly, as if kissing her. When I turned on the lever again, the vibrator responded to me with a powerful blow of energy right into the clitoris. I practically knew nothing about the features of the clitoris at that time and was not ready for it. The feeling was sudden and overwhelming. Literally in a few minutes it flooded me completely and so that completely deprived of strength. There was a feeling that I was melting from the bottom, like a piece of butter in a skillet. I, likewise, spread out and limply hung on this vibrator.
Then everything went extremely fast. Having made several rhythmic movements, I received the first orgasm, and after it several more. That day turned out to be unforgettable for me in the number and strength of new emotions.
I spent the rest of the day in such a detached state that I even raised puzzled questions from my mother. And since then, I have not often, but regularly began to arrange holidays for myself. Of course, it was impossible to withstand this, and it was not always possible to choose a moment when there was no one at home.
Once there was even an incident, which I still remember with shame.
It happened when my father went to the garage, and I decided to take this opportunity. Sitting, as always, only in a short T-shirt, which barely covered the ass and pubis, I closed my eyes and clasped my arms and swayed on the buzzing vibrator already in anticipation of an orgasm. Because of the strong buzz, I did not notice how my father returned, having forgotten the keys.
Opening my eyes at some point, I saw him standing directly opposite me in the doorway. The most embarrassing thing is that I was already in such a state that I could not stop my occupation. It was stronger than me.
I just looked at him imploringly, biting my lip, and could not tear myself away. I “finished” practically before his eyes. It was during this process that he turned and went into the kitchen.
We must pay tribute to him, he behaved exclusively gentlemanly, for which I am grateful to him for life. Pretended that there was nothing.
And then, of course, everything was renewed. I could not live without it.
Just become much more careful.
25. Ellie, 33 1 3 5.
By the age of 15, I had a lot of boyfriends – all guys are older by 2-3 years.
I was pleased with their attention, but, frankly, I was afraid. I was afraid that I could not cope with them or with myself if the relationship went further.
Therefore, it so happened that the first meetings with elements of sex I had with a completely nondescript young man, younger than me for a year. He lived with me in the same staircase and was, as they say, a “brake”. / But he had such an advantage – he carried out all my orders unquestioningly and looked like a shrine. There is no fear that he could fly off the coils and do something with me against my will. Here is his first and I rewarded ./
I do not remember how it happened the very first time, but for some time I began to invite him to my home in the absence of my parents. And there defile naked before him. Yes, he sat quietly on the couch, and I stomped before him in what the mother had given birth. I was terribly turned on him to look. Seeing how he swallows a lump in his throat, squeezes his fingers … At the same time, I was absolutely sure: he would not even dare to rise from the sofa, not that anything else.
I felt power over him, he was my slave. And tormented him without any regret, much to his delight.
10-12 years. Nature and the presence of boys in it. Anguish attacks of an unknown feeling, gradually turning into an unbridled desire to stroke between the legs. It ended with a wonderful feeling of sweet pain, reducing the whole body. I felt happiness first, then shame, then shame left, there was a slight fatigue. I tried to get so settled so that I could see them (boys).
These impressions influenced and developed, of course, my sexuality … but I will not say that the video series is better for the girl. Then, later, other associations worked.
I will never forget how at the age of 13 I “trained” with a tap in the bathroom.
At this age I was strongly excited by the stories of girlfriends about oral sex – very detailed and picturesque. And then I also fell in love – the image of an idol was constantly spinning in my head …
I moved closer, let out a thin warm trickle, pressed my lips – and fantasized with might and main … What did I not get up to in these fantasies …
In what situations we with my subject of passion just didn’t visit … :))
It lasted a year or two. I must say, the impressions were so strong that I did not even have to touch myself for extra pleasure. Everyone made dreams, emotions and fantasies …
At 14, there was such a period … I suddenly sharply matured – in all physical indicators. A chest, a figure became absolutely not childish. And, naturally, the guys began to pay attention to me. They, I can say, did not allow the passage. Especially active were the guys in the yard of one of my friends, to whom I went to visit through half the town.
As soon as I appeared there, they immediately began to “pinch” and “paw”.
Guys – that is, of course, loudly said. Rather, boys age 13-15. But when there were a lot of them, they became an uncontrollable force. A man of 5-6 grabbed me, dragged me into an abandoned garden, and there they all took turns lying on top (in clothes) and rubbed. Many then got up with wet spots. But already the breast through the dress made me sore.
The most amazing thing that I … liked it! Well, naturally, I screamed for the order, fought back, appealed to the sympathy of my friends … But when they grabbed me, dragged me, crushed my chest with impatient, greedy fingers … rubbed with hard tricks, the heat from which seemed to burn through the dress … – I melted, although she would never admit it to anyone.
My biggest secret dream was to have someone decide once and strip me naked, at least to the waist, look and touch. But no one ventured.
My friends considered me a fool – no one understood why I continue to go to that yard all the time, despite the humiliations that they put me through. But I was not going to explain anything to anyone – just with a sinking heart and a sweet shiver in my stomach – I was walking …
41. Assol, 22 1 2 3 4 5 6.
I did not tell anyone about this, but I think it is worth writing. I felt the first conscious sexual attraction in the 1st grade and it was expressed in “special” games. I had the best girlfriend Lida, with whom I could share everything and knew that she would not tell anyone.
The “daughter” went on a date, where the “beloved one” (she later became the “mother”) spoke of love, and the “daughter” also swore allegiance to him.
Then he offered to prove this love in practice – and began to touch her everywhere, and the daughter fought back, since she was a cultural girl. But the beloved was older and stronger, and therefore always sought his own.
From somewhere at that age, we knew what to do. In the course went everything that comes to hand: felt-tip pens, which we shoved into all places, toys that had to be taken by mouth and licked … And then the mother appeared. And should inevitable punishment. These penalties excited me the most (most often the role of the “daughter” was mine to me).
Punishments would certainly have to be public (so that others would not learn!;)). For this, we went out into the yard and hid in a secluded place behind the fence. Daughter took off her panties and lifted her skirt so that everything was visible, and Mom took some branch and spanked daughter on the pope.
The beauty of the game added a sense of danger – after all, someone could see it!
One day, standing on a box during the execution, I saw our idol, my brother’s friend, through the fence. I called him: “Andrei!” And hid, but he recognized my voice and shouted: “I know it is you! Do not play! And then tell my mom! I was already pounding in my temples, so much did it join, without knowing it, in our game. I looked out again from behind the fence, but then the “mother” began to “curse me with a twig” (for communicating with him again;)). He could only see my face, but I knew that my skirt was pissed off, my panties were lowered, and they spanked me with a branch … I imagined that if he could see / everything / now and felt something overwhelm me !
In addition, a friend still went on impromptu: she said: “Oh, do you still think about him? So get it! This is for you instead of his pussy !! ”and she started shoving a bottle between my legs (they always gave us a bottle of water or compote so that we did not run home every half hour to drink). It was something. Since then, I have always been especially excited by sex with elements of violence …
42. Vika, 21 1 3 4 5.
Since then I really wanted to try oral sex, but I couldn’t do it because there wasn’t the right occasion. Talking about sex among girls was constantly and the boys, too, were constantly teasing us about this topic, but there could not even be talk about trying with someone for real. If the guys only knew what was going on in my head !: -))) If one of them had guessed the offer, I would not refuse!
So they went, embracing, away from others and whispered about various details. We were even teased by “lesbians,” although we were whispering about something completely different. These conversations, we brought ourselves to the terrible excitement, even the panties got wet. And when we watched erotica together!
“This” I experienced in 10 years. My friend I. had no one at home, and she invited me to her place, said: “For a couple of minutes, nothing special.”
She was swarming in the kitchen for a long time – she was looking for something. Feeling that I miss, offered to see one tape. She said that the thing is damn interesting and that she herself was reviewing several times.
I agreed. Turned on the tape, it turned out – porn. I sat on the couch and immediately felt that my throat was dry. A friend asked:
Turn off??. I am silent … / A strange feeling seized me – I wanted to turn it off, but at the same time I could not take my eyes off the screen; I felt – I’m burning … /
After this incident, I began seriously thinking about sex, thinking and fantasizing – / what / and / how / …
46. Love, 21 2 3 4 5 6.
The desire to give yourself pleasure appeared in 11-12 years. I easily reached orgasm with my fingers. My vagina was so small that at first I masturbated with one finger, it no longer fit into it. I remember how I thought: when it fits into two, I can consider myself a real woman. Soon, I achieved this, but the feelings of adulthood did not appear, moreover, I realized that it was better to just give myself pleasure, not to think about any stereotypes.
I used small bottles of deodorant (there were such narrow bottles, like probes, 3 centimeters in diameter). I enjoyed doing it in front of the mirror, standing with my legs spread wide. Thus, I approached my first sexual experience with a man well prepared in terms of pleasuring myself ….
47. Anyuta, 24 2 3.
With 13 years I began to feel the craving for the opposite sex. I just fell in love with the boys in our class. First, in one, then in another … But for some reason they did not pay attention to me. From this I considered myself some kind of inferior. Never even kissed.
Everything stopped only when I actually began to make love with my first man – my future husband.
51. I, 26 1 3 4 5 6.
It appeared incomprehensible when. ten? eleven? 12 years? It is not clear – because everything started with a lot of romantic dreams. But the farther, the weirder turned out. Romantic girl has a roof gone on the basis of sex.
Absolutely all men who had a male penis growing between their legs were considered as potential partners. Happiness was to travel in a crowded transport – there were many men, different!
In the evenings, I was very fond of discussing with my nearest girlfriend how interesting it would be to become a prostitute – this was a frenzied romance and shy pleasure. At the same time, by the way, for the first time I saw pornographic photographs — eerie quality, black-and-white, where some fat women with an unshaven crotch were depicted (I was summoned into the bushes by my boy friends – say, let’s go, something we will show).
Show, but I do not know how to respond. Before that, I was like “my boyfriend” for them, but what should my boyfriend say? But, on the other hand, parental parenting is crushing – this is bad, this is dirty, fu! But everyone needs a wild desire for me instead of aunts (and not in the photo, but here it is). In general, a complete panic.
Well, and, of course, all the inflamed fantasies of that time were poured into fierce masturbation (by the way, did I write the word correctly?) With the participation of completely non-intended objects, starting with the door jambs and ending with everything that comes to hand. Perhaps somehow it all affected my future sex life, but I did not specifically track exactly how.
56. Anna, 15 2 3 5.
I was 14, he was 20. The desire for sex appeared every time I was just next to him, felt his kisses and touched his body. But fear was always present in me. When he brought the matter to sex, I was shaking all over from inexplicable fear, although I really wanted it. So he could not be my first man, despite my love and sexual attraction.
And still, when meeting him, I feel a slight fear, not knowing why myself. But I can do nothing with it.
59. Magic, 271 4.
At 12-13 years old, at the end of the summer holidays, the boys started “special” games. During the day everything was as usual, and the games are normal, children’s. In the evening, when it was getting dark, something very different happened in the very same bushes.
In August, it is already dark by 10 pm – even though your eyes are poked out. Among the bushes, darkness was generally absolute. Standing literally nearby, it was impossible to make out faces.
It was not a shame, because it was not known who touches you and who you touch.
Everything was done in silence, only occasional light squeals were heard – some touches were very sensual. It happened that several hands touched the body at once, clasped their breasts and climbed between their legs. Sometimes it was possible to grab the boy by a strong sticking out “bitch” (with the heart beating down). It happened that a girl’s chest was under my arm (surprisingly, in the dark it also excited).
Nobody climbed under the clothes, but, by tacit persuasion, everyone tried to dress easier. I usually put on only a thin sweat suit on a naked body. Home came red, crazed and could not really explain to my mother, what kind of games can be in such darkness. And I was looking forward to the new evening.
I remember the insanity on the basis of sex, which happened to me in 12 years. Probably, this was due to hormonal adjustment, because soon came the first periods and everything stopped.
I don’t remember how and how it started. But there was a period when I madly wanted a man. Anyone. I really wanted to have sex with a man, although I didn’t even imagine how this should happen. Every oncoming man I considered as a potential lover. I was interested in men all – how they are dressed, their appearance and figure. Especially interested in how they would have looked naked. I, like a magnet, were attracted by bulges in the front on their trousers. I tried to surreptitiously as much as possible to consider them and imagine what lies behind them.
After school, I was not going home, but in search of adventures. On the way, I looked at all the oncoming men, sometimes smiling ingratiatingly if one of them looked at me longer (and they did not understand why).
Now it is embarrassing to remember, but then it was especially lucky to come across an alcoholic who urinated at the fence – and even see the flicker of some indistinguishable objects at a distance, but such exciting intimate details.
But the main thing for me was fantasy. As I wandered down the street, more and more new fantasies formed in my head, the characters of which were the men I met. Here is one of them.
I get into some kind of emergency (got lost in the woods, railway and even plane crash). Only I and the man (chosen by me from those I have met) remain alive. Around the snow, cold. Need to escape. We only have a few products and one sleeping bag for two. The man says sternly: “To survive, you need to warm each other with your bodies. Therefore, undress naked and climb into a sleeping bag. And I obey him, undress, get into the bag and hold on tight, with my whole body pressed against him. I embrace him, touch his buttocks with his hands, feel his stomach, legs … My imagination could not draw what should be below the stomach.
Just something elastic, big, hot, inexpressibly exciting … And I spread my legs and squeeze it / my hips …
Here we pass by an abandoned garden, behind the trees you can see the roof of the barn. And I imagine that suddenly a man in this very place stops and waits for me to come. He looks at me sternly and says: Let’s go. He takes my hand and leads me through the garden to the shed. I obediently go with him. Thick thickets around and no one sees us. He orders: Undress. I undress to the underpants, but he inexorably demands: Take off!.
And I do it, dying of fear and excitement. He looks at me for a long time.
Then he undresses himself. He approaches me, hugs and presses me with his back against the warm wall of the barn. I embrace him, stroke him on the back, on the bottom, on the legs, and for a long, long time, we closely, closely, cuddle, cuddle, cuddle …
Honestly, it was such a state that if at that moment any man actually ordered something like that, I would fulfill his wish without thinking. I was ready for anything, but no one knew about it …
I came home dumbfounded, in completely wet shorts. Secretly from my mother dried them behind the curtain on the battery. With grief in half I did my homework – fantasies invented on the street were spinning in my head …
And then it all ended suddenly. Together with the first come monthly.
/ But something is still preserved: 3-4 days before the arrival of menstruation, I just become aggressively sexual. /
66. Olga, 24 1 3 4 5.
After the incident at sea, I began to make the first attempts at masturbation, although I didn’t really understand what I was doing and why I liked it so much. I touched my clitoris, thrust my fingers into the vagina, but simply could not imagine what should be further – that after a caress you could have an orgasm.
I wriggled on the bed, writhed with excitement and only when rubbed the clitoris to the pain, threw the case. A little later, I began to introduce into the vagina not very thick objects (pencils, pens, etc.). I was ashamed, of course, I did not tell anyone about this. But she persisted in doing this and soon learned to even reach orgasm.
68. Angela, 24 1 3 4. The desire to constantly evoke sexual sensations in oneself appeared at the age of 10 years. I always liked to present myself not with men, but with girls. I imagined, masturbating how the girl is gentle with me, how she kisses me everywhere, and these fantasies still haunt me. If I imagine myself with a woman, I reach orgasm in seconds.
Men in my fantasies are extremely rare.
69. Dream, 20 2 3 4 5.
The erotic feeling first struck me at 13 years old … Oh, it was great … I began to dream of erotic dreams. Then I began to appear violent fantasies. I loved to get into bed in the evening and dream.
Then I dreamed it all, well, having become more mature, I realized my dreams into reality …)))
I woke up and began to excite myself more and more, but it never came to orgasm. But I already knew that it was very pleasant and therefore I began to think about trying with a guy … But I was afraid.
70. Blue Bird, 28.
It started when I was 10 years old. I went to the house of the pioneers in the dance class. We were engaged in bathing suits on a naked body in the big hall, in the evenings. There was no special dressing room, it was necessary to change clothes either right in the hall or in the “waiting room” of the toilet. I was new and joined now one group of girls, then another.
One day, the class leader left me to debrief, so I went to change after the rest to the toilet so as not to be alone in the hall. To my surprise, there were still four girls, and they were completely naked. That is, they seem to be changed, but somehow very slowly, reluctantly. They put something on, then they took off (the supposedly wrongly worn thing), passed from the “waiting room” to the toilet and returned again. It seems they were not happy about my arrival, they looked very cold. It was felt that the situation was kind of tense. I took off my swimsuit and also left without everything. It seemed to me inconvenient to immediately dress and leave. I sat down on a stool and started a “small talk” about the classes, about the leader. The girls responded to me, and I gradually mastered.
Suddenly, I noticed some movement in the wall opposite. I was very surprised and came very close. And she discovered something that she had never paid attention to before – holes were cut with a knife in a wooden wall! Behind this wall was the same waiting room of the men’s room, and someone from there was spying on us! I was all cold, hurriedly went to the bench and began to dress. And all the while she was dressing, as if she was feeling greedy, curious eyes on herself. The other girls seemed to be looking at me mockingly. They are not in a hurry.
That night I could not sleep for a long time. Against my will, I felt something exciting in this situation, something that frightened and lured at the same time.
In the following classes after graduation, I approached one of those girls and shared my observations with her. She reacted somehow very calmly, said something like: “If you don’t want it, don’t go.” But, I do not know why (maybe to prove something?), This time I went with them again.
At first it seemed to me – this is something like a competition – who longer will be able to stay naked under the eyes of others. And I was ready for a lot to prove to these girls that I (new) would not give in to them.
But the situation itself was starting to excite more and more. Especially when I heard a sigh behind the wall, a whisper, sometimes a little audible “ooh”, I saw from time to time flickering eyes in the holes. It became hard for me to breathe, an unfamiliar twisting feeling appeared in my stomach. But I decided to endure everything to the end and see how it will end.
I got a hole and me. I saw three guys from the ship modeling mug.
They stood, lowering his pants, and showed their toys. And they didn’t just show them, but “played” with them, show us off. They showed us everything. I looked – and then turned away from shame, then again began to eagerly examine.
It lasted about 15 minutes too, but during those 15 minutes I felt so much! I understood the meaning of everything that happened. Apparently, there was some tacit persuasion between these girls and boys.
Barter, as they would say now. We – them, they – us. And it so excited me that I became a permanent member of the company.
Some fantasies were constantly spinning in my head, and under these fantasies I learned how to masturbate, imagining what I could do with a boy if we were lying naked. It lasted all months 4, until the summer holidays, and such sex through the wall became for me literally the meaning of life. When we returned from the holidays, the toilet was overhauled and the wall was already brick. This all ended by itself. But that case had a big impact on me. I understood what sex is and realized that I want it.
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From the book you will learn: love between a man and a woman is an extremely positive feeling. A very similar love with love is in no way connected. And poor quality love is mania, it’s also “drug love”, “superabitive love”, “folle amore” (crazy love (it.) Has not only nothing to do with love, but also a completely painful disorder.
And learning to distinguish them is not so difficult.
A person does not have an innate gift, to distinguish love from love, other
Examples of true love
Dramatic love of famous people who did not make them happy
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