Is a wedding a necessary and necessary ritual before creating a family? Does the further life together depend on an event dedicated to marriage? – we asked these questions to the Head of Wedding Consult Xenia Afanasyev.
Wedding for many is indeed a global, grand, long-awaited and very important event in life. Working in the agency, we study public opinion and collect opinion polls on the topic – whether you had a wedding and how strong your union is.
From the clients of our wedding agency, over 5 years of the company’s existence, only one family has broken up, and then because of the change of residence. So, with confidence I can say that Wedding is a pledge of a strong family! According to surveys conducted by independent experts, every 4th couple who registered a marriage without a wedding celebration has already broken up. Apparently, the fact that when the newlyweds seriously decide to enter into a civil union plays a role, the wedding is a way of making this decision official, as well as the stage of checking their relationships at the household level. After all, preparation for a wedding is a rather complicated and time-consuming event that takes a huge amount of time, nerves and money. Solving the pre-wedding tasks, the bride and groom get to know each other better in everyday life and draw the appropriate conclusions. Wedding managers often observe the emergence of friction and disagreement during the preparation of the wedding, if the couple found a compromise – this is a good sign for the future family.
So, everything connected with the concept of “wedding” consists of about two dozen small wedding stages, which future newlyweds should be aware of:
1 STAGE – Offer hands and hearts. The groom, making the decision to make an offer, must understand that for both parties this is a serious step and you need to arrange it properly. If there is a desire to save on this tradition of offering hands and hearts, then you can simply buy a gorgeous bouquet of flowers and one fine evening, come to a date to your beloved, say important and touching words. And if the groom decided to approach the issue solidly and thoroughly, then it is advisable to find out what size the rings are wearing and buy an engagement ring in the jewelry store. A popular variant of the engagement ring is a smooth ring with the presence of one diamond. If this option is too banal, then you can choose any other ring, with any stone and any design, the main thing is to guess the bride’s taste. After all, this bride ring should be worn all the time before the wedding as a sign of official engagement. The bride during the offer of a hand and heart, if fully confident in her answer, should immediately inform the groom about her decision, if not, it is advisable to set a deadline for an exact answer or tell about her arguments in refusal.
2 STAGE – Engagement. Previously, the engagement was a mandatory procedure before the wedding. The groom was obliged to announce his serious intentions to the bride’s parents, talk about plans for future family life and reassure parents that the daughter is being handed over to reliable hands. In our time, everything is simplified, if you still want to show respect to the parents of the bride, it is advisable to choose the day and invite them to the meeting to report your news. During the meeting, the groom must ask their daughter’s hand and promise to take care of her, to love and respect. The bride, agreeing with the proposal of the groom, should confirm to the parents the seriousness of mutual intentions.
STAGE 3 – Bachelor party and hen party. In the modern world, each young couple interprets this event for themselves in different ways. A bachelor party and a bachelorette party can be held in any format, any place and at any time, only two remain the prerequisites of this event – the absence of the female / male half of society, except, of course, the entertainment program and its holding before the wedding. It is desirable, of course, that the event should not take place on the eve of the wedding, the bride and groom should be fresh and rested the next morning, and the format of these events should not violate the moral and ethical standards of the future life together.
STAGE 4 – Preparation for the wedding. If the groom made an offer and received a positive response, then it’s time to start preparing for the wedding. It is not necessary to wait for the application to the registry office, which occurs 2 months before the wedding. This short period may not be enough for a thorough study of all the wedding details, for the selection of all the necessary wedding services for the celebration, and simply in such matters it is better not to hurry and having a huge choice of various services to make the right choice. If there is no experience or time to organize your wedding, then this can be entrusted to professionals of the wedding industry, for example, a wedding agency. After all, the staff of this organization is not the first time they hold such an event and they have a huge number of solved problems and tasks. In addition, the wedding manager will control everything that happens on the wedding day from morning to night and you will not have to fuss and be nervous on a holiday.
5 STAGE – Choosing a wedding dress. Before the wedding, the groom should not see the wedding dress of the bride, that is, not to participate in his choice, in fitting and demonstrations to her friends. The wedding dress is a mysterious attribute of the young bride, it symbolizes purity, tenderness and emphasizes the uniqueness of each chosen one. The wedding dress on the day of the event is worn to the bride by her close friends or mother. A wedding dress, especially for a wedding, must complement the veil. It can be as short and light, so long and studded with rhinestones, pearls and exquisite embroidery. The veil is often inherited from generation to generation, from one bride to another. If the bride finds it difficult to choose a decent and suitable dress and accessories for him, then you can resort to the help of a professional wedding consultant, she will be able to assess the quality of tailoring and fabric, the design of the dress and its suitability to your person. And it is very important to remember that cost does not mean the best at all, a professional stylist will always select the most suitable dress at the most adequate price.
6 STAGE – Choosing a wedding suit. The suit of the groom (tailcoat or tuxedo) may be chosen by the couple together. Knowing the style of her wedding dress, the bride can choose the appropriate outfit for the groom. If you are at a loss in choosing a decent and suitable suit and accessories for it, then you can resort to the help of a professional wedding consultant, he will be able to assess the quality of tailoring and fabrics, the design of the suit and its suitability to your person. And it is very important to remember that cost does not mean the best at all, a professional stylist will always select the most suitable suit at the most adequate price.
STAGE 7 – Preparation of the bride dowry. Previously, the wedding tradition was the obligatory presence of the bride dowry. Now it is no longer considered a mandatory attribute, instead of dowry fees, the bride’s parents can help the groom and share the wedding budget by paying, for example, wedding dresses or wedding vehicles. In any case, in order not to dictate the modern world, parents can prepare a bride’s dowry, or they can simply provide financial assistance.
8 STAGE The choice of wedding vehicles. It was always believed that the bride and groom should go to a registry office in various cars, there was a bride’s motorcade, where only her friends and relatives were traveling, and there was a bridegroom motorcade. Nowadays, everything has become much easier – if you have the desire and opportunity to go to the registry office on different cars, such as a white and black limousine, then you are welcome, and if you decide to save or cannot live without each other for a minute, then it’s better to take one beautiful car for two. It is only important to remember that in addition to you, it is desirable to plant a photographer and a videographer who can make touching shots of the wedding moments. Now it is also necessary to take care of the delivery of its guests to the registry office and further along the wedding route. As for the design of the wedding procession, it’s not at all necessary to put banal dolls of the bride and groom on the hood (unless you have a retro wedding, of course) and hang tricolor ribbons, the wedding agency managers will offer you many exquisite and non-standard transport designs with fresh flowers in the shape of hearts or rings. For stylish couples there are options for the image of their names from the colors on the cars. The fashionable trend in the design of a wedding convoy was the production of personalized plates with the names of young people, for example, MARIA + PAVEL or simply with the inscription JUST MARRIED.
9 STAGE – Selection of wedding rings. Rings have always been a mandatory attribute of the wedding and future family life. Therefore, choosing the rings you need to understand that this is not a jewelry bauble, but your everyday accessory. Do not focus on the design and popular brand, choose the comfort and fit your lifestyle. Wedding rings can be made of white or yellow gold, and can combine several shades of precious metal. Previously, wedding rings were unadorned, now modern fashion trends dictate the presence of 1 or several diamonds on the bride’s ring. To make your ring your whole personal life and differ from the million other rings, engrave it on the inside. The inscription on the ring can be a perfect variety, for example, “I LOVE YOU”, “MARIA + PAVEL”, “FOREVER TOGETHER” or just the wedding date. Do not be discouraged if one of the wedding rings turned out to be small or large, now there are many jewelry shops, where for a small fee in a short time you will adjust the size. And in expensive jewelry stores, engraving and resizing are generally free.
10 STAGE – Selection of witnesses for the wedding. A few years ago, in our country, the legal function of marriage inspection during registration was abolished. Now you can choose and appoint any close friends and relatives as witnesses, but apart from the name “Witness of the Bride and Groom” they will not play any role in the registry office, but at the banquet they can even help you. For example, if a bride has her shoes stolen or the bride herself is even worse, then not just one groom, but his witness can take the rap. Many modern couples in order not to single out just one close to the bride and groom appoint friends as Bridesmaids and Friends of the groom. To do this, the same costumes and dresses are sewn off in the European manner, and they stay with young people all day, take part in photo and video sessions, and also come forward to the initiative at a wedding banquet.
STAGE 11 – Choosing and throwing the bridal bouquet. As well as wedding rings, the bridal bouquet is an obligatory attribute of the bride, only it is distinguished by its short duration. The bride’s bouquet is always chosen differently, sometimes the bride orders the groom to do it and thus show her taste and creativity, and most often the bride herself or with the help of a wedding consultant makes a choice of a bouquet. The composition of the colors of the wedding bouquet, its shape and color depends on the hair color of the bride, on the design and style of her dress, on the season and of course on the budget. When choosing a bouquet, a boutonniere for the groom is selected, it is a small flower or a flower arrangement specially designed for the groom’s jacket. The groom’s boutonniere necessarily matches the color and variety of flowers in the bridal bouquet; it is advisable to use artificial boutonnieres in extreme cases. What a bouquet you have not chosen is very important to remember that at the end of the evening you will definitely have to part with it. The bride usually throws her bouquet to unmarried bridesmaids before leaving. That girlfriend who catches the bridal bouquet and will be the next bride. Some brides in order to avoid separation from their wedding bouquet ask the organizers to order another 1 extra bouquet for throwing – a mini copy of the original. And brides who want to please all the girlfriends and don’t deprive anyone with a bouquet, order a bouquet consisting of several mini bouquets, and at the moment of throwing it breaks up into 5 equal parts.
12 STAGE – Buying and throwing the garter of the bride. The garter of the bride is usually bought with the sole purpose that the groom could at the end of the holiday throw it to single friends. A friend who catches the garter will be the next contender for marriage. To avoid an incident at the moment when the bridegroom is looking for an already lost garter under her bridesmaid dress, she should be dressed right before the start of the action, otherwise it will be embarrassing. To take off the garter, the bride usually sits down on the high chair, while the groom gently hand off the garter with the legitimate wife to the music. After the leading groom’s team, the garter is thrown to the assembled male audience.
STAGE 13 – Choosing and cutting a wedding cake. Cake is one of the most awaited and tasty attributes of a wedding celebration. Wedding cake is usually several tiers, most often from 3 to 10. The weight of the wedding cake is calculated based on 100 g per person, it can be more, the main thing is not less. Wedding cake reflects the taste of the newlyweds, not only in terms of composition, but also externally. It can be of any color, correspond to the style of celebration, be of any shape, for example, in the form of a heart or a limousine. On the cake can be written the names of young people or wishes. It can be decorated with rosettes of cream or marzipan monograms, edible beads or meringue bows. It is customary to place the figure of the bride and groom on the upper tier, or as before the swans. You can refuse the banal solution and cover the top with a cake with edible flowers. The newlyweds cut the wedding cake together and give the first pieces to their parents. And especially enterprising couples together with the leader arrange a wedding auction and sell the first piece often at the price of a whole cake.
14 STAGE – Bride price. Previously, the bride’s ransom was given great attention, he was serious and was an obligatory stage of the wedding schedule. And in our time, the ransom is nothing more than a fun contest for the groom and his friends, in which they perform various comic tasks, solve simple puzzles and always successfully reach their intended goal – the bride. Sometimes it happens that the banality of this procedure makes people turn to professional artists. For example, an interesting option for a wedding redemption is to hold Russian folk rituals with the bridegroom and his guests by a folklore group of costumed artists. Or you can go non-standard way and invite under the window of your favorite professional performers of the serenade, and put your own declaration of love on the asphalt by rose petals. In general, a million options, the main positive outcome of this procedure.
15 STAGE – Breaking the wedding loaf. Loaf is another tradition that has been preserved from time immemorial and is an essential attribute of the beginning of a wedding banquet. The loaf is usually held by the mom of the groom on a tray with a rushnyk, the newlyweds break it up after they have salted one last time. It is believed that the one who breaks off a piece of loaf more will be the master in the family! During the banquet, you can give the loaf to the guests as a sign of the generosity of the future spouses or keep it and dry it for a rainy day.
16 STAGE – Smashing glasses. Just like a loaf, smashing glasses, the old wedding tradition, when the groom’s mother invites the young to break the loaf, the bride’s mother holds glasses of champagne or wine in order to drink to the bottom and break glasses of happiness. It is believed that if the leg does not break, there will be a girl, and a boy will break. It is better to buy glasses for beating in advance, and not to use restaurant ones, otherwise you can be billed for damage. If you are on a soft surface at the moment of breaking, then move away to a place where the glasses will accurately break to avoid an unpleasant incident.
STAGE 17 – Sprinkle with rice and coins. In all countries of the world, this tradition is the most long-awaited and desired among newlyweds and guests. Rice sprinkling was carried out as a sign of wealth and prosperity of the future family. It’s very simple – pre-cooked rice, small things or sweets are distributed to guests and when young people leave the church they are sprinkled with it. Nowadays, replacing rice and coins with rose petals has become an increasingly popular tradition; they are more beautiful and light. It is important that they are clean and fresh, otherwise the effect of sprinkling may not be very pleasant. Rose petals are usually laid out in specially prepared baskets or envelopes and a minute before the young ones are released to the guests. They can, unlike coins, be thrown on the head, and not under the feet.
18 STAGE – Running pigeons. Pigeons are a symbol of peace, freedom, new life. The launch of pigeons on the wedding day means the beginning of a new life together of two loving hearts – therefore this tradition has become very popular on the wedding day. Young people can do this after leaving the church or the registry office, before the start of a wedding banquet or just on a wedding walk. Sometimes the wedding organizers wear a blue and pink ribbon on the pigeons and which one of them will first fall from the pigeon during the flight, that child will be born first in this family. If launching pigeons seems to be a very standard solution, then you can arrange the launch of several dozen huge butterflies. The launch of butterflies does not depend on the season and is an original solution for extravagant couples.
19 FATAL STAGE – Marriage. Registration of marriage and wedding is the most important stage of the wedding day. After all, it is for this purpose that guests gather, young people prepare, parents worry, and organizers fuss. Marriage is usually carried out in the registry office, but more recently, an interesting alternative solution initiated by wedding agencies has become a wedding with an exit registration. That is, on your wedding day, you no longer need to languish in stuffy and compact registry offices, stand in lines and confuse your limousines with other people – now the receptionist will come to you. Exit wedding can be in any place convenient for you: for example, in a rented mansion or a picturesque manor, in a beautiful park or on the bank of a river, on board a motor ship or a plane. All your ideas, desires and ideas can now be implemented through this procedure. The main thing that remains the same is the exchange of newlywed wedding rings!
20 STAGE – Wedding Banquet. A wedding for many is a celebration that is the most important and important in a person’s life, because at this very moment a person ceases to be alone – he has a family! Therefore, young and their parents try to mark this important and serious step in life at the highest level. The wedding banquet is one of the important stages of the celebration and is first in importance after the registration of marriage and wedding. The wedding banquet gives guests the opportunity to express their feelings and desires, to say warm spiritual words to the young people, to give them vital instructions. Well, the heroes of the occasion, in turn, try to make the guests remember the banquet, so that everything is fun, beautiful, tasty, original and elegant. The main thing is that the young people themselves could feel their holiday and how to relax with the guests at a wedding party in their honor. A wedding banquet can be anywhere: in a small cozy cafe, in a chic restaurant, on a modern boat, in tents on a picturesque manor – it is important that the kitchen and service are carefully studied and checked. And of course the key to a successful banquet is a professional toast-master or wedding presenter.
And one more important wedding event, and more precisely the after-wedding event –
The wedding night. The format and style of this event is difficult to find any tips. It is only important to think over in advance where this long-awaited event will take place and to prepare the place with an appropriate decoration (candles, flowers, champagne, fruit, chocolate, rose petals, music). And it is also important to remember that it has long been the custom of the bride to bring into the room for the wedding night in her arms.